[Dial tone]

[Pickup]

ROSLYN: You've reached the Love and Luck Podcast.

[Music]

[Beep]

[Pickup]

[Beep]

KANE: Hey Jason, so I've been thinking about the bar business idea. Do you think we could do it like, as a cafe during the day and as a bar at night? You know, like some of the places near my place do?

Because I've been thinking about what kind of place I'd like to run, and I think... it's important to me that it's open at different times of the day. I think that we have an opportunity here to build a sort of... safe and welcoming social hub for people like us, and that would be a dream come true for me.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: [Affectionately] That's so you, wanting to use this space for good things instead of just good times business. You're so wonderful.

We can totally run it day and night - that'd probably work out better for our slightly conflicting sleep schedules anyway. That's a really good idea.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: I'm really glad you like the idea. I think this could be really special if we do it, you know? My whole life I've always just... desperately needed those places, places where people feel welcome, where you can just hang out, or you can go if you need some space, or some distraction or whatever.

I've just... I've always wanted to build more spaces like that. And I was really scared about the possibilities of this bar but then I realized... this is a chance to do it. I don't have to just desperately seek those places outside myself, if we do this. I can wrap one around me.

Thank you. None of this would even be a possibility to ponder without you.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Hey, just a heads up, I'm going to practise some of the non-emotional magic stuff today. I'm going to try and get someone to give you a bunch of flowers, okay? Let me know if it works!

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: [Laughing] Oh my god, babe. So... it worked! In the weirdest fucking way possible!

You know those dickhead squeegee guys at intersections? And you know how lately the Nepean Highway intersection has had jugglers and shit instead of the squeegee guys? Okay, so! I was crossing the road there, and instead of even just normal jugglers, there were fucking clowns there today. Fucking clowns!! And one of the fucking clowns did that magic trick where they pulled a bouquet of flowers out of their sleeve, right? And guess who was nearest to the clown when they did that, and was thus offered the bouquet of flowers?

Why yes, it was me! [Laughing] You not only magicked me some flowers, you magicked me some fucking clown illusion flowers. Unbelieveable. Good job.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Oh my god. Okay. So... that wasn't what I was aiming for. Although, I have to admit, I didn't exactly consider in depth what I was aiming for other than just "someone gives Jason flowers".

I think I'm getting the hang of it though - and I think you're right, luck seems to be the thing that makes it work. I tried a few other ways of thinking about it over the day, but when I started thinking about "wouldn't it be lucky if someone gave Jason flowers", I felt this like... tug, I guess? Like there was something there that could be... pulled.

So I sort of pushed and pulled at the luck, or at least that's what I felt like I was doing, and it felt like I was throwing the intention to push and pull at it? Rather than just thinking it, or picturing it like you'd normally picture something happening. It had that same weird outside feeling that I've felt every other time I've managed to get something like this to work. Like there was always a kind of... traction whenever I was pulling out your hangovers or whatever.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Hey, yeah!! I know what you mean! Both the throwing it feeling and the pulling. That's how I feel when it works too! I guess that's like, what "spell casting" feels like or whatever? Although they're not really spells I guess, since we don't, like, say or do anything really, there's no ritual or whatever. I don't know what we'd call it. I guess just sticking with the generic term "magic" seems to do the job at the moment, at least.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: You know... while we've been playing around with all this, I've been thinking a bit about my mother. When I was a kid everyone used to say that Mumma was a witch. I thought it was just a silly mean thing kids say, you know? I never thought it was real or anything like that.

But now... I'm reconsidering that. What if she was? What if that's what I am? What if that's what all of this is - witchcraft? Maybe there's a genetic factor to this ability, or something?

Although, can men even be witches? Can witch be a gender neutral term? I have no idea. But it's easier to worry about linguistics than existentialism. [Sighs]

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: KANE. Your Mum is a witch?? Call her and get her advice on this stuff! We've been floundering around cluelessly, and maybe we don't have to be! I can't believe you didn't think to mention this earlier!

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Hey, Jason... listen, I... I can't call Mumma for advice. She died a few years ago.

This... feels kind of weird to tell you in a voicemail instead of in person, but at the same time it's... it's also easier this way. I still struggle with it sometimes, to be honest and... voicemail is easier. Less confrontational. More distance. For me, I mean. It's... hard to accept that she's gone, sometimes, even now. So saying it into a phone instead of in front of you... it makes it a little easier.

I know that probably sounds weird, sorry. I know I'm normally good at talking things out and everything but sometimes... sometimes it's hard. And anything that makes that easier is... useful. Sorry.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Oh shit, babe, I'm sorry. I love you. And don't apologise, okay? I'm glad the voicemail made it easier to tell me.

You can always use voicemails to tell me stuff you find difficult face to face, okay? I'll never be mad about it. I always listen to voicemails from you anyway, with my full attention, so it's a totally fine way to tell me stuff like this if you need to, okay?

I love you. I'll see you tonight.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Hey... thank you. Thank you for understanding, and for being so good about it.

And Jason?

... She would have loved you.

[Hangup]

[Music]

ROSLYN: Love and Luck is written by Erin Kyan, and produced by Passer Vulpes Productions. Kane is voiced by Lee Davis-Thalbourne. Jason is voiced by Erin Kyan. Credits spoken by Roslyn Quin. Recorded by Kermie Breydon.

For more information about Love and Luck, check out our website, loveandluckpodcast.com. You can also find us on facebook as Love and Luck Podcast, and follow us on twitter, at @LoveLuckPodcast.