[Dial Tone]

[Pickup]

ROSLYN: You've reached the Love and Luck Podcast.

[Music]

[Beep]

[Pickup]

[Beep]

KANE: [Pleased] Hey boyfriend. Since we're boyfriends now.

So... I just wanted to tell you that was definitely the best weekend of my life. I'm only sorry we had to end it so we could go back to work.

I hope you have a good day today.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Also, I STILL can't believe you hadn't seen Priscilla. What kind of gay are you? You're lucky I showed it to you in time, otherwise someone would have to confiscate your gay card, and then what would we do?

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Oh my god, I know right? Now that I have seen Priscilla, I'm as astounded as you are. You'd think that would have been some formative shit for me. Although... I think if I'd seen it as a kid, my parents would have blamed it for making me queer. So maybe it's better this way, since I get to see it with my cute bear boyfriend, and thus there's no negative associations.

Also, this is probably weird, but do you know I intentionally didn't pick up your call just before? I wanted to to listen to your voicemail instead. I feel like... I feel about your voicemails the same way I feel about getting parcels in the mail. It's like receiving an old school love letter or something.

I really like it. I really like you.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Hey. I really like you, too.

I know exactly what you mean about the voicemails. Love letters are a good comparison I think. The way I feel when I see the voicemail notification is definitely the same way I felt about getting notes from crushes in high school.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: You got notes from crushes in high school? That's adorable! I bet you were popular. Did you get notes from boys and girls? Did you ever write back? I need to know more about Kane the high school heartbreaker! Please leave me a message with all the details.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: [Amused] I don't know what details you're after, here. Yes, I got notes from boys and girls, and yes, I wrote back sometimes. I wasn't really popular... just average, I think. I think maybe our school just had a romance with romance, you know?

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: [Sighs] Kane the teenage dreamboat. I'm definitely going to pester you for more details about this at some point. I didn't really date much as a teenager so I'm just going to live vicariously through your awkward stories, okay?

Also, I think every high school has a romance with romance, there isn't a high enough percentage of asexuals in the population to stop that from being the case.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: [Amused] Hmm, I suppose that's true. Teenagers do tend to have a lot of feelings.

Considering we've stopped using voicemails purely as "hey, call me back" messages, it does make me wonder how we're going to deal with it if we actually need to talk to each other over the phone.

I guess we could text first... [Realisation] Or, well, I guess we can always say straight up in a voicemail that we need a callback, since that's kind of what voicemails were originally made for... I suppose that would be the logical answer, apparent to people who don't overthink things like I do...

Anyway. I should get back to work. Talk to you later.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: [Amused] Good to see you eventually came up with a solution to that terrible problem.

So, text first or request a callback in case of an emergency, got it. Although, let's not have any emergencies. The only emergencies I'm allowing are party emergencies, where the emergency is that we have to party. Those, I will allow.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: [Amused] Party emergencies, huh? Heh, a party emergency isn't likely to come from my end. I'm more likely to have a "I desperately need cake" emergency. So I guess you'll have to keep an eye out for any cake texts from me, instead. Maybe the two emergencies will coincide sometime, who knows.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: So... what you're telling me is that if I bring you cake, you'll come out clubbing with me again? Because frankly, you're hot and I want to show you off to like, the entire gay community. Maybe hold up a sign that's just like "that's right fuckos, he's mine!".

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: [Amused] Hey, so, I'm not sure about the sign, but if you bring me cake, I will definitely go clubbing with you. But not too late, okay? I turn into a pumpkin at midnight. I'm like Cinderella. Or... Cinbearella! [Pleased] Hah!

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: That was fucking terrible and you're fucking terrible. You're lucky I like you.

Text me with what kind of cake you want.

[Hangup]

[Music]

ROSLYN: Love and Luck is written by Erin Kyan, and produced by Passer Vulpes Productions. Kane is voiced by Lee Davis-Thalbourne. Jason is voiced by Erin Kyan. Credits spoken by Roslyn Quin. Recorded by Kermie Breydon.

Priscilla: Queen of the Desert, is a real Australian film about drag queens and road trips.

For more information about Love and Luck, check out our website, loveandluckpodcast.com. You can also find us on facebook as Love and Luck Podcast, and follow us on twitter, at @LoveLuckPodcast.