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ROSLYN: You've reached the Love and Luck Podcast.

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[Pickup]

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KANE: [Annoyed] Hey, so, we fucked up. [Flustered] Wait, shit, that's a bad way to open a message, sorry - we're fine, everything's fine, don't worry! Didn't mean to make that sound so catastrophic!

Anyway, uh, so - these two sweet boys came in today asking for somewhere to crash, because they've heard we're a safe place and can help them. They've been stuck in a shitty situation for a while, or, well, multiple shitty situations actually from the sounds of it. So, that's fine, they're here now - oh, their names are Tom and Brandon, by the way.

Here's the problem: Tom uses a wheelchair. All of our spare rooms are upstairs, and it's not like dingy little pub buildings have lifts installed into them. Fuck!! I mean, at least we have an accessible toilet, but we're going to have to get a shower installed, and we're going to have to do some kind of... something to fix this.

I've set them up in the lounge for now, but we're going to have to figure something out. I've already called Bruce to come install a shower into the accessible bathroom, so he'll be around to do that tomorrow. When he gets here we should talk to him about getting other accessibility things fixed up, which, yeah. Anyway. We'll talk about it when you get up.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Okay, so, I know I said we'll talk about it when you get up, and we will, but I wanted to leave you a message in case I forget or something. I had a thought about Tom and Brandon - maybe we could renovate the little room we're using as an office downstairs? It's not like we have a lot of paperwork or anything... we can move the filing cabinet and computer upstairs, like, maybe to that weird little nook in our bedroom that we've never really known what to do with? Almost everything else in the office is stuff that can be put into storage, so maybe we could put it under the stairwell, or something like that?

[Sighs] Ugh, I can't believe we didn't consider the fact we might need crash space for disabled people. We made sure the bar was accessible, but we didn't think about the second part of that at all! Such a fucking oversight, ugh! [Sighs]

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: [Softly] Hey... here's another bedtime message for you. Thank you for helping me calm my tits today. I just... I kind of got into a spiral about the whole thing. I'm still kind of upset with myself for not thinking about the possibility, but, you're right, we can't change the past. But we can fix it from here.

You know, I think it'll actually work out better to have the computer and filing cabinet upstairs anyway. Half the time we already bring paperwork up here to fill out.

I love you. See you tomorrow.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Hey babe. I'm glad you're finally asleep. And yes, I have been ducking upstairs like, every hour or so to check on you. You need your sleep, Kane! It's good for you!

Anyway. I've been chatting with our new boys and they're really good people. I can't believe some of the shit they've been through, though. People are fucking awful. Fucking hell. At least we've got their backs now. We'll make sure things only get better from here.

I love you lots and I hope you're sleeping really well.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Hey, so I've been chatting to Bruce this morning about further renovations to the office and stuff to make it into more of a real bedroom... he's totally happy to do it, and actually said he'll do it just for the cost of materials, no charge for his labour. I told him that was ridiculous, but he refused to listen. He said we all have to stick together. I might possibly have cried with gratitude a little bit at him about that.

He said he'll be back to start work on it in a couple of days - he's booked up for the next two days or so, in fact he probably shouldn't have really been here doing our shower for us, but he likes us. Pretty sure he's actually a saint. Saint Bruce.

[Hangup]

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JASON: [Teasing] Kane, be proud of me! I'm a nerd like you now! While you are having an early night, I am playing board games with our boarders! [Bark-laughs] Oh man, that's a great pun. Shit, pretend, I did that on purpose, okay? Oh! Oh man.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: [Softly] You know... I love that you go to bed before me, sometimes. Because it means that every night I get to come up here and look at you while you're sleeping, and you're so beautiful. Then I get to slowly crawl into bed with you, and settle in and just listen to your breathing and... it's just, it's the best possible way for me to finish every day. I love you. And I'm gonna slip into bed and harvest your warmth now.

[Hangup]

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KANE: [Teasing] I wake up to one beautiful, loving message from my boyfriend... and another, totally mean and uncalled for message from my boyfriend. You dare to continue calling me a nerd, when you're the one with the comixology account? You dare!!

[Hangup]

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KANE: [Teasing] You know what? Because I always take the high road, I am going to respond to this charge of nerdery with only the most dignified of responses.

By which I mean, I'm going to bake a cake, and I'm going to write “Jason is a nerd” on it, and then I'm going to serve it to all our customers when you come downstairs today.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: You're currently in the shower and banned me from being in the bathroom with you, so I feel the need to leave you a very important voicemail in my own defense. First of all, comics are art. Second of all, no, I absolutely do not regret having to wash cake out of our clothes. Totally worth it.

[Hangup]

[Music]

ROSLYN: Love and Luck is written by Erin Kyan, and produced by Passer Vulpes Productions. Kane is voiced by Lee Davis-Thalbourne. Jason is voiced by Erin Kyan. Credits spoken by Roslyn Quin. Recorded by Kermie Breydon.

For more information about Love and Luck, check out our website, loveandluckpodcast.com. You can also find us on facebook as Love and Luck Podcast, and follow us on twitter, at @LoveLuckPodcast.