[Dial tone]

[Pickup]

ROSLYN: You've reached the Love and Luck Podcast.

[Music]

[Beep]

[Pickup]

[Beep]

KANE: Hey honey. I hope you're sleeping well.

Things are good downstairs today. There's a family here with this tiny happy baby, and it keeps making noises at everyone it sees. It's sooooo cute. I'm pretty close to offering its parents some free coffee just to get them to stick around a little longer? There's something about happy babies that just... really makes a room feel lighter, you know?

Anyway, I love you. See you when you get up.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Hey, I keep forgetting to bring this up when we're both awake - can we get new laundry hampers? The ones we're using take up heaps of space and it's starting to get annoying. Ikea trip to Monday sound good?

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Also, I love you.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: We can definitely get new laundry hampers. While we're there I might pick up some other stuff too. I've put it into our calendar so we can't forget. I love you!

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Hey babe. Quiet night tonight. Haven't had a customer in for a couple of hours, and there's still another one to go before closing time.

Everyone's asleep except for me, which is... nice, actually. Haven't had much alone time lately. Which isn't like... a PROBLEM, or anything. You know me, I love being around people. I basically feed off social energy.

But it's still nice to take a break every now and then.

I've been thinking about our magic. I know we haven't used it a lot since... well, you know. Just soothing, really, nothing else. And I mean, that's fine... it's not like we HAVE to use it or anything.

But... I think we're both a little bit... I don't know. Burnt out? Like... after everything that happened, it's kind of nice to not think about it for a while.

But... I don't know. I don't think it's a good idea to fall into that way of thinking too long, you know? We've got this... power. We can use it to do good, to do better. Which is what we did before, and it's... it's what you wanted to do, and... it's what I want to do, too.

I don't think we should let it go, or... give it up. It's not like there's not still a lot of suffering and struggling out there, you know?

This isn't a movie. We didn't beat the bad guys at the end and live happily ever after. We just... live, after. And there's still a lot left to live through, and... we can make it better. Not just for us, but... for the people around us. For our community.

Anyway. Just something to think about. Love you. See you tomorrow.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: [Resigned] Hey. I know. I agree, even. I know we should pick it back up, we should... keep exploring it, try to get better at it, that sort of thing.

It's just... I don't know. Every time I brush up against it, I start feeling nauseous and panicky. I remember what I did, I remember how I felt, and I just... [Upset] I don't want to do that again. I don't want to have to feel that again.

[Deep Breath]

But, you're right. We should keep using it. We should learn more about it. And I mean... I'm not going to get over these horrific feelings if I just avoid it forever, am I? I need some of that... exposure therapy, or whatever.

[Sigh] The biggest problem with this plan is the same one that we started with ages ago. We don't know what the fuck we're doing and we don't have anyone to teach us.

[FX: Door Opens]

Ah, someone just came in. We'll talk about this later. Love you.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Hey honey. Bedtime voicemail. I... should really be sleeping right now, but... I'm restless.

I've been putting some thought into the whole "we don't know what the hell we're doing" problem. I did some more googling but... once again, can't find anything like what we can do. I found some books that might contain SOMETHING useful, so I ordered a couple. Hopefully they can shed some light, or at least... point us in a direction? I don't know.

In case they don't... I think maybe we should consider... telling someone. About what we can do. Maybe see if we can find someone who knows how it all works. I mean... for all we know, there's like... some kind of cool queer witch coven that we just haven't figured out how to contact yet, you know?

[Quietly] Damn. I hope there's a cool queer witch coven. That'd be awesome.

Anyway... I just feel like we're starting to approach the limit of what we can figure out on our own, you know? Maybe we should think about being a bit more open about it. At least with SOMEONE. I mean... we can't be the only people in the world who can do this stuff, right? That's just... incredibly unlikely.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Hey. So... I know we talked about this earlier, but... in light of that last voicemail you left me, I just wanted to remind you of some stuff when you wake up tomorrow.

First of all, exposure therapy only works if you feel safe. If you're still feeling wobbly about magic, then... we gotta take it really, really slow, okay? I don't want you to try and push past your comfort level just because you think you have to, okay? We've got time. We can take this as slowly as we want. We can just keep using what we already know for now, rather than trying to branch out, if that's easier.

I mean... having said that, if learning and experimenting is what makes you feel more able to handle it then... I guess we'll do that.

Basically what I'm saying is that you can set the pace on this, okay?

And... yeah. That means that if you think we should tell someone? We'll tell someone. Because, you're right. We can't be the only people who can do this stuff.

Also, fuck me. I hope there's a cool queer witch coven. I will fucking cover myself in blood and glitter, and roll around on an altar or whatever just to get in on that.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

VICTOR: [Exuberant] Kane!! It's Victor! I got the apartment! Michael and I can move in next week!

Oh, thank you so much for helping me with the application. I'm pretty sure you're the main reason that we got it.

Oh man. I'm so excited! I'm going to live so close to you guys, in a nice little cozy flat with no goddamn lawn to mow... it's going to be so good!

I gotta go, I gotta go sign the lease. I'll see you at work later, okay? Thank you so much!

[Hangup]

[Music]

ROSLYN: Love and Luck is written by Erin Kyan, and produced by Passer Vulpes Productions.

Kane is voiced by Lee Davis-Thalbourne. Jason is voiced by Erin Kyan. Victor is voiced by DL Turnbull. Credits spoken by Roslyn Quin. Recorded by Kermie Breydon and Eris Barnes.

Thank you to Patti Glad for supporting this episode.

If you're enjoying Love and Luck, consider backing us on Patreon. We do our best not only to make a high quality show for you, but to pay everyone involved in its creation. Your monthly donation will be directly supporting queer art by queer people. Pledge now at patreon.com/passervulpes - that's patreon.com/ P A S S E R V U L P E S.

For more information about Love and Luck, check out our website, loveandluckpodcast.com. You can also find us on facebook as Love and Luck Podcast, on twitter as @LoveLuckPodcast, and on tumblr and instagram as loveandluckpodcast, all one word.