[Dial tone]

[Hangup]

ROSLYN: You've reached the Love and Luck Podcast.

[Music]

[Beep]

[Pickup]

[Beep]

HELEN: [Worried] Hey, Jason, it's Helen. I'm a little worried about Kane? He was out the back, crying, and... I asked him if he wanted me to go wake you but he said no, he was fine. But... people who are crying aren't usually fine.

I don't really know what to do, so... I told him I'd make him some tea, and that's what I'm doing now. I guess... I'll take it out to him and see if I can make him feel a bit better. I don't know how, but... I'll try.

But yeah, I just wanted to give you a heads up. I hope he's okay.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: [Tired] Hey honey. I'm having some trouble sleeping, so... I'm the one leaving a late night voicemail for once.

I'm sorry again for worrying you and Helen. Hearing Mumma's voice again was just... it was just so much. It was so much, Jason. I felt like... god, how do I even describe it.

I felt like I was every age I've ever been. I felt like I was a little kid, and a teenager, and a young adult... I felt so happy to hear her, but I also felt devastated to remember that she's gone, and how much it hurt to lose her.

[Wistfully] I... I could suddenly remember her more clearly. Sometimes when I remember her, all I can remember is her hair - it was really tightly curly, and as it got longer it got bigger, and sometimes she'd get highlights and it made her look like she was permanently lit by the sun.

But hearing her again, I could picture her face, and her shoulders, and the clothes she used to wear. I remembered that she used to wear rose oil as perfume, and I could almost smell it again.

It was... also really strange, because... she sounds so young on the tape. When she recorded these, she was only a few years older than I am now. And I mean... I guess at least that's a normal thing to feel strange about, I think most people forget our parents used to be young once.

I don't feel bad, I really don't. I wasn't crying because I felt bad. I just felt... overwhelmed, I guess. Hearing her voice again is like being haunted. It's like I can feel her with me again. And that's by no means a bad feeling. It's just... very intense.

[Sigh] I should probably try and get back to sleep. I could really use the rest.

I love you. See you tomorrow.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

HELEN: [Gently] Hey Papa Bear, it's Helen. I'm just about to head to bed and I just thought... well, I know you check your voicemails every day, and... I just wanted to tell you that I hope you're feeling better.

And... I hope that it doesn't hurt too much to listen to the tapes. But I'm here for you if you need me, okay? If you need a hug or another cup of tea, just... let me know.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Hey babe. Good night, tonight, lots of customers. Just closed up, and for once I'm not the last person to bed! Tom and Brandon and Ricardo are playing board games. I considered joining them, but frankly I am not smart enough to understand what they're playing, so. I've just been hanging out behind the bar like usual.

And hey, don't apologise too hard for crying. Sure, we were worried about you, but we get it. This is kind of a big deal. Personally, I'm pretty glad at least someone had a good enough relationship with their mother that they get emotional over hearing her voice.

You let me know if there's anything I can do for you all through this, okay? Anything you need, I'll make it happen.

And Kane? It sounds like your mum was really beautiful. I think she must have been. You'll have to find a picture to show me, sometime. We'll make room to put it up on the bookshelf.

I love you. I hope you sleep really, really well.

[Hangup]

[Cassette button press]

JULIE: [Cheerful] Hi there, baby! It's week seven. You've been doing a lot of work making me feel very nauseous, so if you could knock that off for a bit, I'd really appreciate it.

So, I guess I should tell you a bit more about myself. Let you know what kind of person you're ending up with. In terms of who am I am other than just your Mumma. I mean, I guess that's the most important bit. But who is Mumma? Well, let's see.

I live in Melbourne, with my partner Priya. We've been together for... I think three or four years? About that. We're not super into anniversaries, so... it's easy to lose track.

We met at the Women's Dance at the St Kilda Town Hall, and I fell in love with her instantly. We pretty much arrived at that dance having never met, left it together, and have been that way ever since.

Priya is the only partner I have right now, but it might not always be that way. I've never much been one for monogamy, and thankfully, almost everyone I've been with has felt the same way. I say "almost", because I've definitely been dumped for not wanting to be exclusive. But in the end, that's okay. It's good to be able to break up if you can't be happy together. That's a good thing.

Hmm, what else? I work at the Brashs in the city. That's a music store. It's not very exciting work, but it pays the bills and I like my coworkers.

None of them know about Priya, though. Straight people are... not very nice about people like us. Hopefully when you're grown up, that will have completely changed, and you won't understand this part of these tapes at all.

I like to garden. I have a lot of pot plants on our balcony. I'd love to move somewhere with a real garden some day, and some chickens, too. [Moved] Oh, wouldn't you love to grow up with chickens? I think that would be wonderful.

I have a lot of friends, all different types of people. You're going to grow up knowing so many people! It's going to be lovely, and you're going to be able to learn so many different things!

I'm not sure how my life is going to change once you're born. I'm told that it will be really hard. And I'm sure it will. But I think it's going to be really good, too. I think we're going to have a lot of really fun adventures together. You and me and all our friends. And maybe some chickens, too. [Chuckles]

[Click]

Love and Luck is written by Erin Kyan, and produced by Passer Vulpes Productions.

Kane is voiced by Lee Davis-Thalbourne. Jason is voiced by Erin Kyan. Julie is voiced by Nic Rummery. Helen is voiced by Ashe Connor. Credits spoken by Roslyn Quin. Recorded by Kermie Breydon and Eris Barnes.

If you're enjoying Love and Luck, consider backing us on Patreon. We do our best not only to make a high quality show for you, but to pay everyone involved in its creation. Your monthly donation will be directly supporting queer art by queer people. Pledge now at patreon.com/passervulpes - that's patreon.com/ P A S S E R V U L P E S.

For more information about Love and Luck, check out our website, loveandluckpodcast.com. You can also find us on facebook as Love and Luck Podcast, on twitter as @LoveLuckPodcast, and on tumblr and instagram as loveandluckpodcast, all one word.