[Dial tone]

[Hangup]

ROSLYN: You've reached the Love and Luck Podcast.

[Music]

[Beep]

[Pickup]

[Beep]

THULIUM: Hey, Jason! Happy birthday! Can't wait to see you tonight, it's gonna be amazing! [Kiss] Mwah!

[Hangup]

[Beep]

VICTOR: Hey, Papa Bear, Michael and I are running a bit late, which is our own damn fault--

MICHAEL: Your fault.

VICTOR: --my damn fault, because I took kind of a long time to get ready, and anyway, never mind, we're on our way now so we should be there soon.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

STORM: Jason! It's Storm! Happy birthday!

I'll be around when my shift is done, and we are gonna dance like we're possessed! So you get ready for that!

[Hangup]

[Beep]

[Background FX: loud music downstairs]

KANE: Hey honey. Sorry I tapped out before the party ended. I know you get it and you don't mind, but.. I'm still sorry. The early mornings kind of make late night parties a bit impossible for me these days.

[Happy sigh] You looked so happy tonight. At first I was really worried that tonight wouldn't be as exciting as your 30th, and that would somehow be really disappointing, but... I mean, milestone birthdays are meant to be above average, right? So, it's okay this one is a bit less structured.

[Happy sigh] You look so goddamn blissful when the music is loud and the lights are dim. Like... really in your element. It makes me really happy just to see you like that.

[Yawn] I love you, Jason. Happy birthday. I hope the rest of your night is even half as amazing as you are.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

[Background FX: Loud music/people]

JASON: [Shouting, exuberant] I am the hookup god! I am god of all hookups! Kane, your boyfriend is a god of love, okay?? I'm like fucking cupid or something!! I'm amazing!! Fuck yeah!!!

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: [Tired, happy] Hey babe. Party's pretty much over now. I'm just outside for some fresh air before I head up to bed.

We've got a few people crashing on our floor for the next few hours, so... just be aware of that when you get up. But I told them they all have to help you set up for the day, that's the price of getting to crash. So you should at least get some help in the morning.

[Happy sigh] I love you. I love people. I love how messy and stupid and beautiful and loving they are. I love feeling a mass of us at once, you know? It feels like... spiritual. Like I can feel... everything beyond me. Everyone who came before, and everyone who comes after, and everyone I'm currently with. I feel like I can... I feel like I can touch humanity, sometimes. All of it. Good or bad.

[Amused] Heh, I have no idea if that makes sense, it's probably kinda silly. But that's okay. It's a good feeling, so I'm gonna hold onto it while I can.

But most of all, Kane? Most of all, I love you.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Oh my god, I almost forgot to tell you. Helen made a comment about wanting to dance and feeling super self conscious about the idea of dancing alone, right? So I slithered over to Storm and pointed her in Helen's direction, and she was like, hell yeah.

So she went over and asked Helen to dance, and Helen got all flustered but agreed, so they danced for like, half an hour or something? Then they sort of scuttled to the back of the bar, and sure enough, when I looked over there later, they were making out!

So that's a very exciting development. I'm looking forward to seeing where that goes!

[Hangup]

[Beep]

EILEEN: Hey, Jason, it's Eileen. I just wanted to say, thank you so much for inviting me to your birthday party.

[Smitten] I kind of... I mean, I was planning to just go hang out for a bit, but... well, then I met Alex, and my whole night changed.

I have no idea where that might go, but... I'm excited to find out. So... thank you. I think your birthday party found me a sweetheart.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Hey honey. You'll be glad to hear that our crashers were all very helpful in cleaning up and setting things up for today.

I'm really glad you had such a good time. I mean... that was the whole reason for it, after all. And... I know what you mean about feeling like you can touch humanity. Sometimes I feel like that too. Like... I don't know how to explain it. Like... you know that feeling, sonder? The one that's when you realize everyone else has as much of a complex life as we do? It's a little bit like that, I think, only instead of just realizing everyone else's life is as complex and beautiful as mine is, it's like I've brushed my hand up against the web that everyone's combined lives make. It's... a really beautiful feeling.

Oh, and Helen was looking very, very happy when we had breakfast this morning. I asked her how her night was after I went to bed, and she got all flustered and blushy. So... yeah. Exciting developments indeed.

[Hangup]

[Cassette button press]

JULIE: [Cheerful] Hey baby. Week eight! I will probably get tired of announcing what week it is at some point, but... it's still pretty exciting right now.

I keep wondering what you're going to be like when you grow up. I know I'm getting ahead of myself, but I can't help it.

Will you be queer, like me? Or will you be straight? Do I even know how to raise a straight kid?

Will you get married? Will you be monogamous? [Laughs] Oh god, are you going to have to come out to me as a straight monogamous person? Oh my lord.

Will you have kids? Will I... wait, wow, will I be a grandmother some day? God, that's weird to think about. But I guess it's something that could happen.

Are you going to want a career? Or are you going to be more like... work to pay for the weekend? Because that's good too, honestly. Life doesn't have to be about work.

[Thoughtful] It's weird, because... I have all these hopes for you. Like... I hope you'll be queer, I hope we have that in common, you know? And I hope that... regardless of whether it's a career or just a hobby, I hope that you find some activity that makes you feel fulfilled, you know? I hope that you find that you have purpose in life.

I hope... [Laughs] I hope you'll eat your vegetables, and... I hope you'll be creative, like an artist. I hope you make a tonne of friends. I hope you find someone you love, or lots of someones, and they love you too, and you spend your lives happy to be involved with each other.

But, you know... those are just my hopes, and they're mine. Maybe you'll hate art. Maybe you'll hate romance. Maybe you'll want to be a banker, and spend your free time hiking, or playing board games with just a couple of close friends.

And if so? Then that's perfect. Your life is yours, my sweet baby. I'm so excited to bring you to life, and I'm so excited to be your mother. But your life is yours. Don't let me tell you what you need to be happy. You can figure that out for yourself, okay?

[Click]

[Music]

ROSLYN: Love and Luck is written by Erin Kyan, and produced by Passer Vulpes Productions.

Kane is voiced by Lee Davis-Thalbourne. Jason is voiced by Erin Kyan. Julie is voiced by Nicola Rummery. Victor is voiced by DL Turnbull. Storm is voiced by Creatrix Tiara. Michael is voiced by Oscar Sabogal. Eileen is voiced by Abigail Michell. Thulium Rhydderch is voiced by Bismuth. Credits spoken by Roslyn Quin. Recorded by Kermie Breydon and Eris Barnes.

If you're enjoying Love and Luck, consider backing us on Patreon. We do our best not only to make a high quality show for you, but to pay everyone involved in its creation. Your monthly donation will be directly supporting queer art by queer people. Pledge now at patreon.com/passervulpes - that's patreon.com/ P A S S E R V U L P E S.

For more information about Love and Luck, check out our website, loveandluckpodcast.com. You can also find us on facebook as Love and Luck Podcast, on twitter as @LoveLuckPodcast, and on tumblr and instagram as loveandluckpodcast, all one word.