[Dial tone]

[Pickup]

ROSLYN: You've reached the Love and Luck Podcast.

[Music]

[Beep]

[Pickup]

[Beep]

KANE: [Surprised] Jason! I've been listening to Mumma's tapes, and... I think maybe she had the same kind of powers that we do!

There's been a couple of subtle things, but... in the most recent one, she described something that sounds just like our ability to feel each other's feelings and soothe people. I'll play the tape for you when you get up.

I'm really... shocked. I mean, people always said she was a witch, but I just... I thought they were being mean, or funny if they were friends of hers. But... from the sounds of it... I think she was. I think she could do the same stuff we can do. She's describing experiences that are a lot like ours.

Not exactly like ours, though. Like... she's also having hallucinations, or... fuck, maybe they're not hallucinations. But she sees people who aren't there, just like... to the side. Maybe they're... I don't know, ghosts or something? I have no idea.

And she says she's been having really accurate intuition, which... I mean, we don't have anything like that, as far as I know. I mean, I guess the feelings we have right before we affect luck is a little bit like that, in that it helps us tip luck in a particular direction, but... that's not really the same thing.

But when she was talking about how she perceives and can affect emotions... that sounds like what we can do, even if the delivery is a bit different.

I... I know we talked about this possibility, way back at the beginning when we were just discovering our magic, but... I don't know. This... this is huge. She might have been like us.

But I keep coming back to something. If she really was a witch, if she really had magic, just like we do...

[Emotional] Why didn't she ever tell me?

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Hey babe. Hope you're sleeping okay.

I hope... I hope you have good dreams, and you don't wake up upset wondering about your Mum again.

I... I don't know why she didn't tell you. I wish I did. Maybe we'll find out if we keep listening to the tapes? I mean... you didn't even know these tapes existed, which is kind of weird. Like... you'd think she would have mentioned them to you at some point, even if it was just like, "oh, I recorded some tapes for you back when I was pregnant but they got lost", or something like that.

If it helps at all... not only do we know that she probably had the same magic that we do, but... we know when it appeared. We know it happened... when she was pregnant. Which, okay, when I started out on this train of thought, I was like "maybe we can figure out where it comes from!", but like... I mean, neither of us has ever been pregnant, as far as I know. I mean, obviously I haven't, since I don't have the equipment. So... clearly that wasn't the trigger for us.

So... fuck. What then? What turns this on? Where does it come from?

Ugh, I feel like this discovery has just... left us with more questions than we had before. And the only answer we've found is "yes, Julie Baxter was probably a witch". Which... we already suspected anyway.

[Sigh] Well. We'll figure it out. Hopefully.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Hey. Quiet morning today, not as many customers as usual. Which is kind of good, because it means I can slink off for a few minutes to leave you a message, and know that Helen won't be overwhelmed watching the bar for a bit.

I... ugh. I know what you mean about more questions. So many more fucking questions.

And I can't... I can't think of anything we have in common with her, in terms of what might have started all this. We weren't the same age, we weren't going through the same things... I don't think we even all went to the same place or something, aside from the fact we all live in Melbourne, which... as far as I know, not every god damn Melburnian can do magic, so... I don't think that's it.

[Sigh] I guess if there are any answers, they'll be in further tapes.

I wish... I wish I felt up to listening to them all at once. I just... can't, though. I just can't. It's too painful. Hearing her again, and... now, knowing that we have something in common that I didn't know about while she was alive, I just... [Tearful breath]

I'm sorry. I'll get through the tapes eventually, I will. It's just... it's so hard to listen to them.

I miss her so much.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Hey. I love you. And your mother loved you. So, so much.

And I'll remind you again: you take all the time you need to listen to the tapes. We'll travel this course on your pacing.

[Hangup]

[Cassette Noise]

JULIE: [EXCITED] Hi baby! I can kind of see you now! There's a little iddy biddy bump in my belly now. That's you! You're a little bump!!

It's made me really realize... what I'm doing when I make these tapes. I mean... I feel like until now, you've been somewhat theoretical, you know? I'm making recordings for someone that might not be real.

But now... now you're real! Now I can see you, and it's not just on a fuzzy ultrasound! You're here! And that's... also kind of weird, because you're inside me, and that's strange to think about. I know it's natural and all, but... it's still strange. Strange and very, very wonderful.

But, yes. It feels a little odd now, to make recordings for you when I can see you. I mean, I can talk to you anyway. You won't understand me, but... everyone I've talked to who's been pregnant says they're sure babies can still hear us, so... hopefully you still enjoy the sound of my voice, even if you have no idea what I'm on about.

But you know... I like making these tapes. They've become almost... like a diary. But not as extensive, or as serious. Just... a weekly check in. And that's really nice.

I mean, I reckon they'll make a pretty good 21st birthday present, or something like that. I mean, I wish I had something like this from my mum. That would be really amazing.

So, I'm going to keep making these tapes for you. And... I'm probably going to talk to you more in general, now that you're more noticeable.

I love you so much, baby. I can't wait to be able to hear you talk back.

[Click]

[Music]

ROSLYN: Love and Luck is written by Erin Kyan, and produced by Passer Vulpes Productions.

Kane is voiced by Lee Davis-Thalbourne. Jason is voiced by Erin Kyan. Julie is voiced by Nic Rummery. Credits spoken by Roslyn Quin. Recorded by Kermie Breydon and Eris Barnes.

If you're enjoying Love and Luck, consider backing us on Patreon. We do our best not only to make a high quality show for you, but to pay everyone involved in its creation. Your monthly donation will be directly supporting queer art by queer people. Pledge now at patreon.com/passervulpes - that's patreon.com/ P A S S E R V U L P E S.

For more information about Love and Luck, check out our website, loveandluckpodcast.com. You can also find us on facebook as Love and Luck Podcast, on twitter as @LoveLuckPodcast, and on tumblr and instagram as loveandluckpodcast, all one word.

[Music fades out]