[Dial tone]

[Hangup]

ROSLYN: You've reached the Love and Luck Podcast.

[Music]

[Beep]

[Pickup]

[Beep]

CJ: [Gently] Hey, Ricardo, it's CJ. I hope you're feeling better.

I wish I was more helpful when you have nightmares. I wish I could just... make them stop. I hope... I hope that being there when you wake up is enough.

I... I care about you. A lot.

I hope you sleep better tonight.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

RICARDO: [Reassuring] CJ, you are wonderful. It is always enough to have you there when I wake up.

[Self consciously] Thank you for being patient with me. I know it must be hard to be with someone struggling like I am. Especially when I can't stand to be touched when I'm in the worst of it.

But... yes. Having you there means the world to me, trust me. There is nothing more frightening than feeling like I'm alone. You make it easier to come back and stay grounded.

Thank you. I... ah... I care about you too.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

MIRA: [Nervous-excited] Agh, I'm so nervous, I can't sleep. Storm is picking me up after her shift tomorrow and we're going to go have drinks somewhere, and... [Excited noise]

She's just so handsome, and I'm so nervous! What if she hates me? What if I make a fool of myself? [Despairing noise]

Maybe I should go back downstairs and see if anyone's still awake. Sometimes Ricardo or Jason is still downstairs even after closing.

[Anxious sigh] Sorry to clog your inbox with my anxiety, Papa Bear. I'm just... argh!

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Hey babe. I'm a bit late to bed tonight. Mira came down looking for someone to hang out with for a while, and... honestly, that was kind of great. Mira and I don't often spend much time together one on one.

We played a few board games, and it was actually pretty fun. Even if I did lose every single game. Mira is apparently a much better strategizer than I am.

She's really excited and nervous about her upcoming date. It's really cute, she's all bouncy and bubbly.

Actually, that reminds me - we never did talk about the monogamy thing, huh? Got kind of distracted by Maggie's news, I think.

Since we keep forgetting that while we're both actually awake - what's your stance?

For me? I'm... perfectly happy just with you. I don't feel any need to have any kind of open relationship, not even sexually. But I also feel like... I wouldn't mind, if you wanted that? Like, my biggest concern wouldn't be "oh god he's dating someone else", it would be more like... "oh god, if he's dating someone else, will he still have enough time for me?"

Anyway... let me know where you're at on all that when you wake up. Then we can officially tick this off our relationship housekeeping list.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Hey honey. Yeah... I'm pretty much at the same place you are. I'm happy just with you, and like... also, your worry isn't wrong, I mean... I don't really feel like either of us really has the time to date anyone else. We're pretty much always busy.

I think... I think I'd like to be able to have this conversation again at a later point though. Like, if someone really amazing came along, for either of us - or both of us, I guess, since that's possible too - I'd like to be able to consider it, you know? Does that make sense?

Hey, you know... while we're covering basic relationship housekeeping that we've otherwise missed... between Sarah and Mira's breakup, my mother's tapes, and now Maggie's pregnancy... I realized that we've never discussed whether or not we want kids.

I... am not sure where I stand on that one. I've swung between wanting kids and not wanting kids a lot in my life, and... I'm still not really firmly on either side. I do think that... even if I do end up deciding I'd like kids... now is definitely not the time for it, you know? Like, even aside from the whole "we should really be sure before we commit to that" angle, it's kind of like the idea of dating anyone else - we're too busy with everything we have right now. We've got other stuff to focus on.

How about you? Where do you stand on kids?

Hm, I should tend some customers. Love you. We'll probably talk about this more when you get up.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Hey gorgeous. I gotta say, I really like it when Michael's on a later shift and I get to snuggle with you a bit before you go to sleep. The biggest flaw with our different sleep schedules is that there's not as much time for bed cuddles.

I'm really glad we're on the same wavelength about monogamy and kids. I mean, it's makes sense, right? If it hasn't come up until now, there couldn't have been too big of an incompatibility.

I'll be honest, I'm still leaning more towards a no than a yes on kids, but... hey, we can get our kid fix with our upcoming nibling, right?

I'm starting to feel way less freaked out about that, by the way. I guess I just... I don't know. Being a kid is hard. I don't want to contribute to some kid's life being harder than it already will be, you know? I mean, fuck, you couldn't pay me to be a kid again. It sucked.

It's weird, right, because... getting older is meant to be this hard and tragic thing. Like, you're supposed to get really scared of your mortality or whatever from the moment you hit age 30. Everyone's always like "oh no, I've got a grey hair" or something, but like... I don't know, the older I get, the better my life gets. I get smarter, I get more comfortable, I get happier. I know myself better. I know the world around me better. I have a bigger network, I feel like I can affect things more. Make more of a difference.

Eh, I don't know. Getting older rules and being a kid sucked, I guess is all I'm saying.

[SFX: Door opens]

Oh hey, Mira's back! I'm gonna go bother her for details about her date. Love you!

[Hangup]

[Cassette Noise]

JULIE: [Thoughtful] Hey baby. You know, I think my mama bear instincts are starting to kick in. I keep having these really strong gut feelings about stuff. And they're always right. Ever since I found out about you. I guess maybe there's something to the whole 'mother's intuition' thing, huh?

I've also been able to read people better. Like... I can know how people are feeling a lot faster and more accurately than I used to.

It's been surprising for everyone, believe me. Apparently it's super awkward when I can tell someone is lying about how they're feeling but I don't know they're trying to lie about it. I have caused some very uncomfortable situations.

Which is not great, but I mean... it's also made it easier to talk to people sincerely. Making meaningful connections with people is easier than it ever has been. I feel like I can touch people's emotions and we can shape our feelings together. It's beautiful.

In much weirder pregnancy side effects, or at least what I assume are pregnancy side effects... I keep seeing flickers of... something. I keep thinking I see people, just out of the corner of my eye. But when I look for them, or try to focus on them, nothing's there. I've never heard of hallucinating during pregnancy before, but I guess it must be a thing, because it's only happened since you came along.

[Sigh] Ah, that one's a bit of a pain. And it's definitely made a few people look at me weirdly when I've gone to move out of the way or smile at someone, and it turns out there's no one there. I'm the weird lady on the tram a lot these days. But that's okay. You're okay if your Mumma's a weird tram lady, right? I mean, there are worse things to be.

I have to say, I'm kind of fond of these strange happenings, though. It's like I have super powers or something. I'm pretty good with that, because frankly, I think I'd make an excellent superhero. The mighty Julie, stumbling through the streets like a dog on stilts! Making uncomfortably earnest emotional connections with random strangers!

[Laugh] Okay, so my story needs a little work. That's fine. We've got time. And hey, who knows, maybe you'll be a superhero when you grow up, too!

[Click]

ROSLYN: Love and Luck is written by Erin Kyan, and produced by Passer Vulpes Productions.

Kane is voiced by Lee Davis-Thalbourne. Jason is voiced by Erin Kyan. Julie is voiced by Nic Rummery. CJ is voiced by Jai Moore. Ricardo is voiced by Justin Jones Li. Mira is voiced by Tahlia Celenn. Credits spoken by Roslyn Quin. Recorded by Kermie Breydon and Eris Barnes.

If you're enjoying Love and Luck, consider backing us on Patreon. We do our best not only to make a high quality show for you, but to pay everyone involved in its creation. Your monthly donation will be directly supporting queer art by queer people. Pledge now at patreon.com/passervulpes - that's patreon.com/ P A S S E R V U L P E S.

For more information about Love and Luck, check out our website, loveandluckpodcast.com. You can also find us on facebook as Love and Luck Podcast, on twitter as @LoveLuckPodcast, and on tumblr and instagram as loveandluckpodcast, all one word.

[Music fades out]