[Dial tone]

[Pickup]

ROSLYN: You've reached the Love and Luck Podcast.

[Music]

[Beep]

[Pickup]

[Beep]

[BG SFX: Train station noises]

JASON: Ugh, my train's running late. I could have slept in for another half hourrrrr. Ugh!

I miss you. I don't wanna go to the stupid country. I don't wanna go to the stupid baby shower. I mean, I'm going to go back when the kid is born, why do I have to go for this part?

[Sigh] I shouldn't be so mean about this. Maggie wants me to go, so... I'll go. I wish you were coming with me, though.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Hey, you'll be fine. You'll have a nice time, you'll get to hang out with your family, you'll play stupid party games, and you'll be home again before you know it.

I love you. And you can always call me if you get too bored, okay?

[Hangup]

[Beep]

RICARDO: Hey. I'm having trouble making a decision, so I thought... maybe it would help to talk it out a little. I hope that's okay. Normally I'd talk to Jason about it, but... well, he's visiting his sister, and if I recall correctly, Michael doesn't know about magic.

I don't know whether to try and tell CJ about the magic or not. I mean... previously it was a no brainer, because it didn't feel like my secret to share. But now... I mean, if I can affect them with it, it seems only right to tell them about it.

But... I don't know how they'll take it. I mean... Helen doesn't even believe she can do it, and she can. And... Julie talked about her partner not believing her, and...

[Exhale] I'm already a mess, you know? I'm already... I-I jump at shadows, I struggle to go outside. And while I'm getting better with Nerys's help, I'm still almost always afraid.

What if this is just... [Shaky sigh] What if this is the last straw? What if I tell CJ about this, and they go, "that's it, Ricardo's too crazy, I don't want to deal with this shit any more"?

[Vulnerable] I don't want to lose them, Kane. I love them, and I just... I don't want to lose them.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: [Gently but firmly] Hey, Ricardo. Listen.

Tell CJ.

It's clearly hurting you to not tell them, and I really, honestly doubt they're gonna break up with you for this, even if they don't believe you.

If you want moral support while you do it, let me know when you get up. I can be there.

Don't let this eat at you, Ricardo. Life is too short for that. I know you trust them, and I do too. Don't hold back. Let them in. Give them a chance to be good about this for you.

[Laughs] God, listen to me. I remember... I used to feel the same way about Jason. The idea that I'm now trying to convince someone else that it's okay to be vulnerable... well. Life sure has a funny way of cycling back on itself, I guess.

But seriously, Ricardo. Tell them. It'll be okay.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

RICARDO: [Anxious] CJ, hi, it's... it's me.

I... need to tell you something. It's not bad or anything, so... don't worry about that. It's just... it's strange, and it's complicated, and it's something I think I'd be better off telling you in person. Do you think you could come around later?

I... I love you.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

CJ: Hey, sure thing, I'll come by after work. I'm gonna bring a treat for Dognerys, too, okay? I pass a pet barn on the way anyway.

And I love you too, Ricardo.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

RICARDO: [Happy] Hey, Kane... I just wanted to let you know... you were right. Everything is fine.

Thank you.

[Hangup]

[Cassette noise]

JULIE: [Conversationally] Hey baby. Sorry I forgot to record something for you last week. Pregnancy brain.

I've been so foggy and forgetful lately. Thankfully I haven't forgotten anything important or messed anything up. It's just been little stuff like forgetting I already got a glass of water and going to get another one, things like that.

I went back to the beach today. I tried to make the weird ghost thing happen again, but... nope. Nothin'. I still can't figure out what I did or didn't do that made it happen. It's starting to frustrate me a little bit. I'm sure I'll stumble on the answer again at some point, but... in the meantime, it's annoying.

[Perking up] But, I did at least enjoy my time at the beach. I even went paddling, which was a bit silly of me, because the water was freezing. But... I don't know, it was kind of nice in a way. Bracing, or whatever silly nonsense people say when they forget to take their jacket somewhere.

There's something about St Kilda beach that just feels like home. I don't know what it is. It's not like I was born here, and... it's not even like I've spent most of my life here. I've only been in this area for about... oh, five years or so? But... despite that, I still really feel like this is home.

When I'm here, I feel... you know how trees grow their roots down? That's kind of how I feel standing on the shoreline. Like I have roots here. Like there's some part of me that drives all the way down through the sand, all the way to the centre of the Earth. And those roots wrap around the Earth's core, and the heat from there... it travels back up and trickles into me.

[Laughs] Maybe that's why I don't mind the cold water. The Earth keeps me warm and safe.

[Click]

[Music]

ROSLYN: Love and Luck is written by Erin Kyan, and produced by Passer Vulpes Productions.

Kane is voiced by Lee Davis-Thalbourne. Jason is voiced by Erin Kyan. Julie is voiced by Nic Rummery. Ricardo is voiced by Justin Jones Li. CJ is voiced by Jai Moore. Credits spoken by Roslyn Quin. Recorded by Kermie Breydon and Eris Barnes.

If you're enjoying Love and Luck, consider backing us on Patreon. We do our best not only to make a high quality show for you, but to pay everyone involved in its creation. Your monthly donation will be directly supporting queer art by queer people. Pledge now at patreon.com/passervulpes - that's patreon.com/ P A S S E R V U L P E S.

For more information about Love and Luck, check out our website, loveandluckpodcast.com. You can also find us on facebook as Love and Luck Podcast, on twitter as @LoveLuckPodcast, and on tumblr and instagram as loveandluckpodcast, all one word.

[Music fades out]