[Dial tone]

[Pickup]

ROSLYN: You've reached the Love and Luck Podcast.

[Music]

[Beep]

[Pickup]

[Beep]

JASON: [Upset] Hey, so... everything is terrible, and I wish that I wasn't here!

My parents are here! I didn't know they were coming!

I asked Maggie about it when they showed up and she said that while she had invited them, she didn't expect them to actually attend. So... I get why she didn't mention it to me, but I'm still kind of upset about it coming out of left field like this.

Things went, predictably, incredibly badly! My mother made a huge scene in the middle of the baby shower, demanding to know why I was being allowed in Maggie's house, and surely she won't be letting me near the child once it's born, and all kinds of shit like that!

Everyone looked very, very uncomfortable. I actually feel really sorry for everyone else who was there. No one knew what to do, if they should stick up for me or what. They all eventually just made their excuses and left early.

And now my parents and sister are having an argument in the house, and I'm sitting in the backyard trying not to fucking cry! I fucking hate the country, and I don't know why I thought I should even come here. [Tearful] Fuck.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: [Worried] Fuck, Jason, please pick up the next time you see me call, okay? Or call me back, when you get this.

Listen, your parents are garbage. I'm sorry, but they are. They're horrible people and I can't believe they're acting like this. Fuck.

I love you. I love you so much. You're a really good person and you're going to be a great uncle, and your parents are fucking garbage.

Call me back, okay? I love you. I love you.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Hey... can't sleep. Have gone for a walk again. Hoping to see my possum friends at the park again. I even bought an apple to share with them.

Thank you for calling back until I finally noticed, today. It helped a lot to hear your voice for a while.

[Sigh] I don't know what to do, Kane. I feel like I'm tearing my family apart. Like, if my parents don't want anything to do with me any more, then fine, I can deal with that. But... I love Maggie, and I love Brad, and I'm starting to get really excited about being an uncle, and... I just...

Why is this happening now? We all managed to keep the peace for years. I didn't talk to my parents, and they didn't talk to me. I would come visit Maggie and Brad a couple of times a year and we'd chat on the phone sometimes, and that was all fine. Why is it all falling apart now?

I mean... I do know why. It's the kid. I can't not know why. Mum keeps banging on about how if I'm allowed near the child I'll corrupt them. She doesn't even want me in the room with Maggie while she's pregnant, which I do not understand at all. Does she think I radiate gay? I mean, I do, but... it's not real radiation, the baby's not going to catch gay by being around me.

Even if they did though... who cares? Being gay is great. If I wasn't gay I wouldn't have you. I wouldn't have the bar. I wouldn't have all my friends. Being gay is fucking awesome.

[Sigh] I don't understand, Kane. I don't understand why they're like this. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I don't want to ruin things for Maggie and her family. I just... I don't know what to do. Maybe I should stop seeing them like my parents want. I don't know.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: [Serious] Jason... listen to me.

You're not tearing your family apart. Your parents are the ones doing that. They are literally trying to pry you away from your sister and your family. They are trying to oust you from your place in that family.

You are not to blame here. They are. Don't let them push you away from Maggie. Don't let them keep you away from the family that loves you.

Maggie doesn't even want that. Remember what she said the last time your parents were shitty? She said "don't you dare stay away". You're not an unwanted part of her family, Jason. She doesn't want you to be broken off from her.

You're not tearing the family apart. And don't you let them tear your family apart either. Okay?

[Hangup]

[Beep]

[BG SFX: Internal train noises]

JASON: Hey babe. Train just pulled out of the station, so I'm officially on my way home.

It's going to be so fucking good to be home. I really need some comfort after this hellscape of a weekend.

And uh... you're right, by the way. I talked to Maggie and Brad this morning about it all, and I mentioned that if it would be easier, I could stop seeing them... Maggie started ranting about how I better fucking not do that, and Brad started crying and grabbed hold of me in this fucking inescapable bear hug. That dude is strong, by the way.

So... yeah. Not going to stop seeing them. Not going to disappear from their lives. Our parents are just going to have to fucking deal with it, I guess. Because I'm pretty sure at this point, even if I wanted to stop seeing Maggie, if she doesn't hear from me again soon she's going to send a fucking private eye after me.

Thank you. I really... I really was ready to just make the sacrifice and not see them any more. I don't want to make life harder for that kid, you know? But... you're right. I'm not actually the problem. And Maggie and Brad agree with you. So... my parents are just gonna have to fucking suffer.

I gotta say though... it was kind of amazing watching Maggie go off at our mother. She never used to get defensive of me like this. When she called, weeks and weeks ago, to apologise for not standing up for me? I thought it was a lovely sentiment. I didn't realize... how much she really regretted it. Because it's like she's making up for lost time, now.

[Sigh] Ah, I love you. I love you so much. And oh god, I can't wait to be home with my queer family. Because I gotta tell you, all these straight people and their drama is exhausting.

[Hangup]

[Cassette noise]

JULIE: [Sad, sombre] It's another sad week, baby. Another one of my friends passed away. The same one I mentioned a couple of weeks ago, when I said we weren't sure how much longer he had left.

It's so... exhausting, and heartbreaking, to watch people fall like flies. And I've been lucky, I've only known a few that have died so far, but... it's still too many. It's still too many.

I keep wondering, who's next? Is it the man I'm cooking soup for? Is it the person I'm bathing? How many funerals will I attend before the year is out?

And... I'm not just sad, I'm angry. This friend, the one who passed... I was the one to call his parents when he was ill. They refused to come see him, because he's gay. Then when he died... I called them again, to tell them. [Disgusted] And they didn't care. [Angry] They didn't care about their own child!

How can someone be so heartless? How could you have a child and not wail in sorrow upon hearing that they've died? How could you not be wracked with pain, knowing you outlived your child?

[Tightly strung] Baby, you're not even here yet, and I already... the knowledge that it is entirely possible that you might die before I do is so painful to contemplate, I can hardly breathe when I consider it. I don't understand how these people can be so cold.

I can't promise much in life, my sweet baby, but I can promise you that I will never abandon you like these cruel people have abandoned their children. You'll always have me.

Even when I die, I promise, I'll find some way to still be with you. You'll never live without knowing my love. I swear to you.

[Click]

[Music]

ROSLYN: Love and Luck is written by Erin Kyan, and produced by Passer Vulpes Productions.

Kane is voiced by Lee Davis-Thalbourne. Jason is voiced by Erin Kyan. Julie is voiced by Nic Rummery. Credits spoken by Roslyn Quin. Recorded by Kermie Breydon and Eris Barnes.

If you're enjoying Love and Luck, consider backing us on Patreon. We do our best not only to make a high quality show for you, but to pay everyone involved in its creation. Your monthly donation will be directly supporting queer art by queer people. Pledge now at patreon.com/passervulpes - that's patreon.com/ P A S S E R V U L P E S.

For more information about Love and Luck, check out our website, loveandluckpodcast.com. You can also find us on facebook as Love and Luck Podcast, on twitter as @LoveLuckPodcast, and on tumblr and instagram as loveandluckpodcast, all one word.

[Music fades out]