[Dial tone]

[Pickup]

ROSLYN: You've reached the Love and Luck Podcast.

[Music]

[Beep]

[Pickup]

[Beep]

MIRA: Hey Storm, keep an eye out today for a lovely gentleman named Sebastien who will be dropping by the hospital. He's a massage therapist, and I've booked him to spend an hour at the nurses' station so you and your coworkers can get some relief in between shifts and treating patients.

I hope he makes work a little easier on you all for today. I love you.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

STORM: [Delighted] Mira. Sweet, beautiful, perfect Mira. This is, by far, the greatest gift anyone has ever given me. I love you dearly. Thank you so much.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

CJ: Hey Ricardo, it's CJ. I just wanted to let you know that the trains are running late today, so I'll be a bit late arriving at the Best of Luck. So don't worry too much, okay? I'm still coming around, I'm just gonna be a bit late.

[Pleased] Also? I keep forgetting to tell you this until it's morning and I'm watching you sleep, at which point obviously I'm not going to wake you up by talking to you, but... you've been looking a lot more relaxed since getting Dognerys. You seem to be sleeping much better.

If there ever was doubt that getting her was a good idea, there's no way that doubt could survive now. There used to be tension lines all over your face when you slept, but not so much any more. Even when she's taking up so much of the damn bed that I'm pushed to the edge of it!

I don't mind, though. She's cute and you're sleeping better, so I'll sleep on the edge of the bed as long as I need to. It's worth it.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

VICTOR: [Thoughtful] Hey Papa Bear. It's Victor.

I can't sleep, my brain's going on in circles, so I thought I'd think out loud at you for a bit, if that's okay?

I've been feeling more and more lately like I'm not doing enough. Enough for us, I mean. For queers. I want to make a difference. I want to help.

[Vulnerable] I... I really look up to you and Jason, and the way you take care of people, and... I just... I wanna... I wanna do that.

The problem is... I don't know how. I don't know what to do, or where to go to do it, or even what needs doing in the first place, really. I want to go where I'm most useful, where I'm most needed, but... I don't really have any skills I can use, and... I'm already trying to use my money in the best way I can right now...

I guess... if you have any advice, I'd like to hear it. I feel like I'm floundering a bit, and... some direction would be good.

I should try sleeping again. Thanks for listening.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: [Caring] Hey, Victor, listen. It's good that you want to help people. But don't fall down a hole of feeling like you're not doing enough, okay? That doesn't help anyone.

The best way you can help people is by doing what you can, no matter how small, and making sure that you're well enough that you can keep doing it. And then, if there is room to do more, you can expand your actions. But only if you have the ability to do so.

I'm not trying to say you can't look for new ways to help out. Just don't burn yourself out, okay? Don't get so excited about helping that you don't take the time and effort to look after yourself.

As for how you can help? Well... like I said, do what you can. Don't try and think of ways people need help and then try to push yourself to do that. Instead, think of what you can already do, and then focus that towards the goal of helping people.

[Proud] You're a good kid, Victor. I'm really glad to know you.

[Hangup]

[Cassette noise]

JULIE: [Sad, upset] I buried another friend a couple of days ago, baby. Another one.

He was a painter. Both industrial and artistic. The industry paid for the artistry.

[Wistful] The things he could do with colours... one day I'll show you. I have two of his paintings. They hang in my hallway.

[Shaky breath] I don't know how we're all supposed to go on through this, sometimes. How are you supposed to be okay after watching person after person slip away? Especially when it feels like no one cares except us?

[Deep, shaky breath] AIDS is decimating us. It's stealing our people, our culture, our joy, our contributions. It's laying waste to us.

I don't know what the future is going to look like, after this. Or if there will even be an 'after'. Maybe this is the end. Maybe this is gay armageddon.

I hope not. I don't want you to grow up in a wasteland. I don't want you to grow up without the voices and hearts of all these beautiful people around you.

[Deep breath]

But... even if the end of the world comes, I'm not bloody well going quietly.

[Firmly] I'll do more. I'll do everything I can. I'll find the time. I'll find the strength.

[Calmly] I'm going to quit my job at Brashs.

I have an interview and physical examination at the Alfred hospital next week. If I pass, I'll be enrolled in a three year training program at the hospital.

I'm going to be a nurse.

I'll be better able to look after people that way. I'll be in a better position to help. Plus, with my weird pain soothing superpowers, I'm pretty sure I'll be good at it.

[Earnest] We have to take care of each other. And when you're grown up... I want to be able to look you in the eye and tell you, truthfully, that I did everything I could.

[Click]

[Music]

ROSLYN: Love and Luck is written by Erin Kyan, and produced by Passer Vulpes Productions.

Kane is voiced by Lee Davis-Thalbourne. Julie is voiced by Nic Rummery. Mira is voiced by Tahlia Celenn. Storm is voiced by Creatrix Tiara. CJ is voiced by Jai Moore. Victor is voiced by DL Turnbull. Credits spoken by Roslyn Quin. Recorded by Kermie Breydon and Eris Barnes.

If you're enjoying Love and Luck, consider backing us on Patreon. We do our best not only to make a high quality show for you, but to pay everyone involved in its creation. Your monthly donation will be directly supporting queer art by queer people. Pledge now at patreon.com/passervulpes - that's patreon.com/ P A S S E R V U L P E S.

For more information about Love and Luck, check out our website, loveandluckpodcast.com. You can also find us on facebook as Love and Luck Podcast, on twitter as @LoveLuckPodcast, and on tumblr and instagram as loveandluckpodcast, all one word.

[Music fades out]