[Dial tone]

[Pickup]

ROSLYN: You've reached the Love and Luck Podcast.

[Music: Theme music plays]

[Beep]

[Pickup]

[Dial Tone]

[Pickup]

JASON: Hi, you've reached the Best of Luck Bar. To do our part to slow transmission of the novel coronavirus, we are closed until further notice. We recommend checking back with us in a month's time, to see how the situation has changed.

Sorry for the inconvenience. Please know that we're still with you in spirit. How much we love you never changes, no matter how far apart we may be.

[Beep]

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Hey babe, just updated the bar phone's voicemail message, since I think we forgot to do that when we were updating all our social media and things earlier today.

I'm still not tired, so I'm probably going to be up for a little while longer before I come to bed. Sorry, but quarantine doesn't seem to reset my sleep schedule. I know it would be a lot more fun if we could actually spend the whole day together, but... hey. Blame my circadian rhythm or whatever.

[Frustrated sigh] Anyway, love you. See you tomorrow. Hopefully everything feels less dire then.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Okay, so, actually - final update before I come to bed, I want it on the record that Ricardo CHEATS at SCRABBLE by being SMART and knowing BIG WORDS when I don't know ANYTHING!! And that is offensive to me as a qualified stupid person!! So I need you to come up with some kind of, like, handicap or something I can give him when we have our rematch tomorrow!! Something that LEVELS THE PLAYING FIELD!! I'm COUNTING on you!!

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Hey honey, Ricardo and I have agreed that for tonight's match, he will only have thirty seconds to play his turn, and you'll have as long as you need. [Barely concealing smile] Hopefully that feels about right for you in terms of leveling the playing field!

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: [Annoyingly] Hey. Hey. Hey Jason. Hey. Wake up.

JASON: [Groans sleepily]

KANE: Jason, I'm bored.

[Pause]

KANE: Jason, did you hear me? I'm bored! I'm bored of waiting for you to wake up. Normally I have work to do but I don't know what to do with myself when I don't have work. So. Hey. Wake up. Entertain me.

JASON: [Grumpy, Sleepy] Can't you bother someone else? Surely other people are awake.

KANE: Yes, but they're not you. I want to bother YOU.

JASON: Whyyyy.

KANE: Because I love you and I want your attention.

JASON: [Grumpy, sleepy] I mean, fair, but still, though...

KANE: [Courteously] It's half past eleven, so it's not too much earlier than your usual wake up time...

JASON: [Tired sigh] Yeah, that's okay. I slept pretty well, so... I'm not too bothered.

KANE: This... is going a lot better than I expected. I'm actually leaving this as a voicemail for you because I thought this would go a lot funnier.

JASON: [Small laugh] Sorry to disappoint you.

KANE: That's okay.

JASON: If you're gonna come bother me awake can you at least come down here and kiss me?

KANE: [Happily] Mm-hmm!

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Hey babe. Couldn't sleep, again, so... I'm downstairs having some tea. Don't ask what kind, I have no idea. Somehow, in the very short amount of time between choosing the tea, making the tea, and making this call, my brain has just ejected all other information about it other than "this is tea that I am going to drink". It was just from the miscellaneous stash in the kitchen. Some kind of pink wrapper. It's pretty nice! No idea what it is, but it's nice!

[Sigh] Everyone else is in bed. I guess quarantine is giving everyone an excuse to sleep a lot, which is great, and I am jealous as hell. My body just refuses to do it. It's just like, "hey! this isn't normal sleep time! we can only sleep during sleep time! what are you doing!". Super annoying.

[Sigh]

Normally I like this time to myself at night. But it feels a bit less... wholesome, lately. During the day it's kind of fine, because I've got you and the girls and Ricardo, but at night, when everyone's asleep, and it's just my stupid arse still up? It's... harder not to think about what's happening. And it's harder to not spiral a little bit, you know? Like... it's not like we haven't been talking about it during the day. But that's fine, because we're all together, and so it feels... not less heavy, exactly, but it's okay because there's more people to do the lifting. But at night...

[Pause]

I'm fine, by the way. None of this is like, anything to worry about. I think it'd be stranger if I wasn't feeling a bit anxious about it all, you know? Like... there is literally a global pandemic happening. Not feeling anxious at all would be super weird. Or a sign that I was in denial about it happening. So... yeah, don't worry. I mean, you can worry about COVID. Like I said, I think that's pretty normal. Just don't worry about me.

[Sigh]

[SFX: Jason sips tea]

Hey... I know we're mostly spending all our time together, so it hasn't been as like, built into our relationship as usual the last few days, but... can you leave me a voicemail tomorrow? I... kind of miss them. Like... I know it'll probably be difficult thinking of things to say, but... I don't know. I like waking up to your messages. It's... it's normal now, you know? And... with everything that's happening... I really want to hold on to normal where I can.

Yeah. I hope that's okay. Like... I just... it can be anything. I just... like having them.

I love you.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: [Soothingly] Hey honey. I love you. Don't feel bad about asking for voicemails. Honestly, I'm kind of glad that you've given me, like, a concrete action I can do that will make you feel better. I love it when there's a course of action. It's a lot harder to feel helpless when there's something I can do, you know?

So. Here's a voicemail!

There's... a small group of sparrows out the front that I've been watching through the window this morning. They've been fighting over some scrap of unidentifiable food. It's super cute. I'm always really amazed at how fast sparrows move, you know? It's like they're an animation that's skipping frames or something. One moment they're here, next moment they're there, in the blink of an eye! I guess it's because they're so light? Like... it doesn't take much energy to propel a sparrow very far.

[Small laugh] Or maybe I shouldn't guess about physics. I don't know anything about it.

Let's see, what else... oh! Mira's been helping me go through the games on the console - we bought a few new ones to help us avoid boredom for the next little while. We are now finally proud owners of that goose game everyone's been talking about - I haven't played it yet, but it sounds really cute. And I mean, I'm always happy to support local business, as you know, what with us being a local business ourselves. Plus, it's pretty cool that a Melbourne video game is like, world famous now, right? That's pretty cool.

Um... I was thinking I might bake some bread later today. Usually when I'm baking I'm making sweets and things for the bar, but since we're closed right now... I kind of have the ability to bake whatever I want. And it's been a long time since I made bread at home. I don't... even think you've ever had any bread I've made, have you? Huh. Wow, it has been a while. Yep, definitely going to bake some bread today. Maybe I'll get started on that soon actually so when you wake up and come downstairs it will smell all fresh bread-y. That'd be a nice thing for you to wake up to, I reckon.

I'm actually going to go get started on that now. I hope this was a long enough message for you. I love you lots, and I'm sorry we haven't been leaving as many messages. We'll make the time for it. Maybe we can do a few more of those ones where it's both of us leaving messages together, like we did for our anniversary? I really liked those.

Love you. See you when you get up.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Okay, there we go. Voicemail recording away.

KANE: Wait is this one on your phone or mine?

JASON: Calling from my phone, leaving in your voicemail.

KANE: Okay, cool, I couldn't remember which way we were going first.

JASON: I mean, I feel like you'd notice if we were using your phone. You know, the phone lying on your chest right now? The phone you've been holding?

KANE: Okay, sure, when you get all logical about it.

JASON: [Small laugh]

[SFX: The sound of people getting comfortable on a bed]

JASON: So now what?

KANE: I don't know. Sing me something?

JASON: [Small laugh] I'm not a very good singer, babe.

KANE: It's not about being a good singer. It's about the act of singing to me.

[Pause]

JASON: Okay, umm... What would you like me to sing?

KANE: What do you know?

JASON: Honestly, the only thing my brain is conjuring up right now is this fucking folk song I learned back in primary school.

KANE: [Small laugh] Okay, then let's do that.

JASON: Really?

KANE: Yeah.

JASON: Okay...

[Pause]

JASON: [Singing] One night when travelling sheep, my companions lay asleep
There was not a star to illuminate the sky
I was dreaming, I suppose, for my eyes were partly closed
When a very strange procession passed me by
First there came a kangaroo, with his swag of blankets blue
A dingo ran beside him as a mate
They were travelling mighty fast, and they shouted as they passed
"We'll have to jog along, it's getting late"

The pelican and the crane, they came in from off the plain
To amuse the company with a Highland Fling
The dear old bandicoot played a tune upon his flute
And the native bears sat round them in a ring
The drongo and the crow sang us songs from long ago
The frill-necked lizard listened with a smile
And the emu standing near with his claw up to his ear
Said, "Funniest thing I've heard for quite a while"

The frogs from out the swamp, where the atmosphere is damp
Came bounding in and sat upon the stones
They each unrolled their swags and produced from little bags
The violin, the banjo and the bones
The Goanna and the snake, and the adder wide awake
The alligator danced "The Soldier's Joy"
In the spreading silky oak the jackass cracked a joke
And the magpie sang "The Wild Colonial Boy"

Some brolgas darted out from the tea-tree all about
Performed a set of Lancers very well
Then the parrot green and blue gave the orchestra its cue
To strike up "The Old Log Cabin in the Dell."
I was dreaming, I suppose, of these entertaining shows
It never crossed my mind I was asleep
Till the Boss beneath the cart woke me up with such a start
Yelling, "Dreamy, where the hell are all the sheep?"

KANE: [laughs softly] Thanks. I liked that.

JASON: Hah, I'm glad. Didn't hurt your ears too much?

KANE: No. It was perfect.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Okay, your turn. What do you want me to say?

JASON: Tell me a story about your Mum. If it's not too painful.

KANE: No, it's not painful. Okay... let me think.

[Pause]

So... one time, when I was a kid, I was just starting to learn about pollution and - well, we'd call it climate change now, but back then it was individual things, like acid rain, and the hole in the ozone layer, and stuff like that. And I was getting really upset. Like... it's a really hard thing to learn about as a kid. I imagine it's even harder these days.

So I came home from school one day, and I just burst into tears as soon as Mumma asked me how school was that day. And she was really worried, she thought maybe I'd gotten into a fight or gotten in trouble or something like that, and it took me a while to calm down enough to explain that I was scared of the hole in the ozone layer.

And I think a lot of parents would have felt the urge to tell me to calm down and not worry, that everything will be fine - and I mean, it's quite possible that she did have that urge. But she didn't do that, she didn't downplay any of my worries. She gave me a big hug, and we sat down and she made a pot of tea, and we talked about it. We talked about it for a couple of hours, actually. She answered the questions she could answer, and the ones that she couldn't, she wrote down so that we could go look them up at the library on the weekend.

We talked about what we could do ourselves - you know, wear sunscreen, don't use aerosols, that kind of thing - and we talked about how we should encourage other people to do that too.

And it wasn't a one time conversation, either - we'd talk about it a lot all throughout my childhood. And she'd organize so we could do things like go plant trees, or we'd go pick up litter, stuff like that, anytime I was starting to feel overwhelmed about it. Like... she clearly knew that there wasn't much we could do for those big fears, so... she helped me target my worries towards things I could do.

It's pretty clear I've always had anxiety problems, you know? Even as a kid. And... I don't know, I think that the way Mumma handled it was really good, and I feel like this is a really good example of that. It didn't cure anything - I was still anxious - but it helped. And it taught me that it was important to talk about things and work on them. It was okay if the anxiety never went away, or even if it got the best of me sometimes. But the important thing was that it was always safe to talk about. I think that's one of the best things she ever did for me.

JASON: For me, too. Like... I've gotten so much better about talking about my feelings and handling my shit since I've been with you. And I've gotten so much better at it because... you've taught me how. You make it easier. You make it okay.

KANE: [Smiling] I'm glad. Mumma would be happy to hear that, too.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Hey. Can't sleep. Love you a lot, though.

Thank you for today. It made me feel a lot better. It's funny how little stuff can have such a big effect on us, huh?

[Deep Breath] I don't know how things are going to go in the coming months. But... I feel okay about it, knowing I'm with you. I can survive anything as long as I have you. And... I know that together, and with everyone else we love, we'll get through this. We just have to do our best and take care of each other. It'll be super hard, I mean, not going out at all is super frustrating, and I think things are going to be pretty rough over the next little while. But... I have faith in us.

[Pause]

Yeah. I think we can do it. I think we can help make everything okay. We just have to do what doctors tell us, have courage, stay inside, and stay kind.

Yeah.

I love you so much. I love you more than anything.

See you tomorrow.

[Hangup]

[MUSIC: Theme music plays]

ERIN: Love and Luck is written by Erin Kyan, and produced by Passer Vulpes Productions.

Kane is voiced by Lee Davis-Thalbourne. Jason is voiced by Erin Kyan. And the credits for this episode are also read by Erin Kyan, who is me, because I didn't want to make Roz come to my house just to record a few lines during a pandemic.

The goose game mentioned in this episode is a real game called Untitled Goose Game by Melbourne production team House House. You can get more information and buy the game at goose.game.

The folk song that Jason sings in this Episode is called “The Drover’s Dream”.

We hope you've enjoyed this special bonus episode. We know that Love and Luck is a comfort to a lot of people, so we hope that this episode helps ease your distress a little bit. Our show is always here for you. We're all in this together.

For more information about Love and Luck, check out our website, loveandluckpodcast.com. You can also find us on facebook as Love and Luck Podcast, on twitter as @LoveLuckPodcast, and on tumblr and instagram as loveandluckpodcast, all one word.

[MUSIC: Theme music fades out]