Episode 8 - Should We Move In Together?

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ROSLYN: You've reached the Love and Luck Podcast.

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JASON: Hey, so I hate this thing where you have to go to work in the morning. I hate waking up and not having you next to me, it seriously sucks. I miss you. I hope you have a good day at work today.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Hey, I hate leaving you in the morning, too. It definitely sucks. I miss you too.

[Hangup]

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JASON: Clearly the solution to this problem is that I kidnap you and store you under my bed. Or maybe I could hide under your bed. Hmmm. Must start planning this evil scheme. Operation: don't be too far away from boyfriend because it makes us sad. Good name, I think.

[Hangup]

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KANE: [Amused] I think you need to come up with shorter names for your evil schemes. Also, I mean... if we're both sad to part ways when we do, we could always talk about moving in together. Just a thought.

[Hangup]

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JASON: [Uncomfortable] Hey. Um. Yeah. I mean, we could talk about moving in together. I mean, unless you're joking, in which case, like, [forced chuckle] you know, g-good one, you got me.

But I mean... uh, it's a really big step? But I mean, we can talk about it. Talking about it isn't doing it. It's just... talking about it. Yeah. Yeah.

[Hangup]

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KANE: [Amused] Hey, don't freak out, okay? It was just an idea. We don't even have to talk about it if it makes you uncomfortable. Don't worry about it.

[Hangup]

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JASON: [Anxious] Hey, it's me.

I just wanted to say... I mean - I do want to talk about it? I mean, if you want to talk about it. If you don't want to talk about it then... we can just not talk about it. I mean, we don't have to talk about it, you know? We can just... keep on... going... doing whatever... I mean... we haven't even been together very long, you know? So we don't have to talk about it... but we can! [Quietly] Fuck.

Argh, I don't know. I'm all... mixed up and freaked out. Ugh.

[Hangup]

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JASON: Hey, it's me again. Look, I just, uh, wanted to apologise for that last voicemail. I think it made me sound like I definitely don't want to talk about moving in together, and that's... that's not the case. Like... I am definitely freaking out, but... like... we can definitely talk about it.

[Sigh] The more I think about it, the more I think... I think maybe it would be weird, now, if we didn't talk about it? Just because it's... well, it's come up now, so we should talk about it. There's no pressure though, right? It's just talking.

I... I really do love you, though. And I love being with you. And I really do hate it when we have to go back to our own houses. And look it's... it's just kind of a big deal to me, the idea of moving in together. I've never lived with a partner before, and it's just... it's a big deal to me. Yeah.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Hey honey, don't freak out too much okay? We'll just talk about it tonight. No big decisions, just talking. It'll be okay, I promise. I love you.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Hey... thanks. I'll see you tonight. Love you.

[Hangup]

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JASON: Hey babe, hope you have a good day at work today. Also... I know last night we said we'd hold off on actual decisions about moving in together for a little while but... I've been thinking about it on the way home. Not just the idea itself, but also how we talked about it last night, and how I felt while we discussed it.

Like... I've always loved my independence, you know? Well, I mean, of course you know, you were there for my freakout yesterday. But that's just it... you were there for it, and I didn't feel like you were upset with me at any point, or disappointed, or anything like that. You were just... there. I was so scared and you were just gentle with me. I didn't want to leave, or hide, or argue, or anything like that, which normally are my go to moves when it comes to emotionally heavy conversations.

I... I really do hate it when we have to sleep in separate houses, and I hate it that we can't assume we'll be eating dinner together without confirming it first, and I hate that I have to pack a backpack to spend the night with you instead of just... putting things away and going to bed.

If... if you'd like to, or if you feel up to it? I'd like to talk about moving in together again. But not just a "feeling out how we feel about the idea" talk. A real one. Maybe even a planning one?

I'd... I'd like to move in with you. I'm still scared about it, but... I feel safe with you. And maybe we're moving too fast or whatever, but, I really don't care, and it's not like I've shied away from being a queer stereotype in literally any other part of my personality, so... yeah.

I love being with you, and... I want to live with you.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: [Gleeful] Oh my god, Jason, I'm so excited. I've had a stupid grin on my face ever since I got your voicemail. I'm just... I'm really happy. I love you and I would love to live with you. Let's definitely start talking about it seriously. I can't wait.

[Hangup]

[Music]

ROSLYN: Love and Luck is written by Erin Kyan, and produced by Passer Vulpes Productions. Kane is voiced by Lee Davis-Thalbourne. Jason is voiced by Erin Kyan. Credits spoken by Roslyn Quin. Recorded by Kermie Breydon.

For more information about Love and Luck, check out our website, loveandluckpodcast.com. You can also find us on facebook as Love and Luck Podcast, and follow us on twitter, at @LoveLuckPodcast.

Episode 7 - Bond. Magic Bond.

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ROSLYN: You've reached the Love and Luck Podcast.

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JASON: Hey Kane... so, I know you think I'm being silly about the whole magic thing, but... last night, when we were together and joking about trying to feel each other's feelings...and then we went quiet for a bit? And I think we were both trying it out. I mean... I was definitely trying it out, and I think you were...

And I... I felt something. I did. Something foreign, but still close, like when I felt the loneliness that time. And I think you felt something too. I know we didn't talk about it at the time, and I'm not sure why... maybe it's just too strange and scary to think about so lightly, I don't know. But I regret not talking about it, because it's all I can think about today.

I think... I feel like we managed to really feel each other, or sense each other's feelings, or... I don't know. I don't know how to describe it. And I don't know if it's like... tantra, or just psychology or whatever but... I think it's real, whatever it is. Even if it's just wishful thinking... I still think it's real.

[Hangup]

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KANE: Hey. [Sighs] I don't... I don't know what happened. You're right though, I mean... whatever it is, it definitely did happen. I didn't say anything at the time because... I was scared. I mean... what does it mean, you know? What is it? Are we having some kind of reality break, or is it just... empathy with a side of romanticism?

[Sighs] I don't know. Maybe it is just wishful thinking. Maybe we're just making shit up. [Quietly] I don't know.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Hey... look, maybe it is nothing. Maybe we're just high on NRE like a couple of teenagers or something. But... isn't it worth exploring a little bit? I mean... it's not like we're hurt by it, and we're not hurting anyone else by it. And it's really cool.

Like... let's try and affect something else today. Like... change something, like you and the hangover, or feel something, like this weird super empathy we seem to have with each other.

Let's just try it out, you know? I mean, what's the worst that could happen? We feel kind of stupid? I feel kind of stupid every day of my life, I'm pretty sure I can handle that.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: [Sighs] Okay big shot, let's at least try and make it fun. See if you can convince my boss to play darts with Jane, one of my coworkers. As far as I know, neither of them have any interest in darts, and I don't think you know anything about either of them, so that should be a pretty clear sign that something magicky is up if it happens.

And hey... putting aside for a moment whatever this magic nonsense is, and whether it's real or not...

I love you. Feeling so connected to you last night was really special, regardless of whatever caused it. I feel really safe with you.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Hey... I love you too.

[Hangup]

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JASON: Hey, Kane? [Pleased] Okay, so you might not believe this. This guy at the supermarket was being a grade A arsehole and I was pissed as hell at him, and I saw him carrying this bottle of coke and I was just like, "damn, I hope your stupid soft drink explodes all over you" and then it did.

Dickhead was drenched in coke. It was hilarious. Like, oh my god, never has a coke exploded on a more worthy arsehole.

Now I mean, it could have been a coincidence, like I'm sure you're thinking, but like... I don't know, man, we're just stacking up a lot of coincidences this last while, you know what I mean?

Anyway, I am feeling pretty fucking confident right now, so I am definitely going to make your work people play darts now. Let me know if it works, okay?

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Hey, it's me... so, uh... Kevin and Jane are playing darts. Right now. Really badly, too, I might add. I don't they've actually hit the target. At all.

But... they are playing darts. They mysteriously found a darts set in the break room behind the couch which is... unlikely, to say the least. Just as unlikely as them deciding to use it.

This is... very weird. And I am definitely at the point where I need to consider that this isn't just a bunch of coincidences any more.

What did you do?

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Hell! Yes! Magic powers!! This is awesome! I can't believe that worked. Amazing.

As for what I did... it's interesting you used the word unlikely, actually, because I was trying to figure out how the hell I could make people I don't know do something they don't do somewhere that I'm not, right? So I thought, well... what if I could just make it more likely that that stuff would happen?

So when I was thinking about it, I was picturing like... I don't even know how to explain it. Like... okay, it was kind of like imagining statistics? But not in like, a logical way, or with real numbers or anything like that. In an emotional way, with like... vague ideas of possibility instead of numbers. Like it was definitely about how I felt. There was no actual statistics, right?

Then I was like... kind of pushing the emotional statistics around, I guess? Like... trying to make it so that instead of "no chance they would play darts" it became "definite chance of playing darts". I don't know if that makes any sense.

Well... anyway, it worked, so that's pretty fucking cool!!

Okay, so, it's your turn now, okay? Um... Hmm, I'm not sure. Oh, I know! See if you can get my Dad to give me a phone call. He hasn't spoken to me since I came out to him like six years ago. So if he calls me, that's definitely not a coincidence, that is a goddamn miracle.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: HOLY. SHIT. KANE.

My dad called me. He actually called me! And when I asked him why he called, he said that he didn't really know, nothing had changed between us, but that he just felt this powerful urge to call me.

Holy. Fucking. Shit. You did it! This shit is definitely real, it has to be!

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Hey, so... I really was not expecting that to work, and this is all really kind of freaking me out. Can you come over to my place tonight? I'm just... yeah, I'm... I'm really freaking out about this.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: [Gently] Hey, sure thing babe, I'll come over tonight.

Also, if this makes you feel any better... it was actually really good to hear from my Dad. I mean, we didn't talk long, but we also didn't yell at each other or curse each other's name or anything. We just talked about the weather and checked that the other one wasn't in hospital dying of something. That's the most positive experience I've had with my Dad in nearly a decade.

So... I know you're freaked out. But... whatever this weird power is that we've got? You used it for something really good today, even if it was just because your dickhead boyfriend was egging you on. So... thanks. I love you.

[Hangup]

[Music]

Love and Luck is written by Erin Kyan, and produced by Passer Vulpes Productions. Kane is voiced by Lee Davis-Thalbourne. Jason is voiced by Erin Kyan. Credits spoken by Roslyn Quin. Recorded by Kermie Breydon.

For more information about Love and Luck, check out our website, loveandluckpodcast.com. You can also find us on facebook as Love and Luck Podcast, and follow us on twitter, at @LoveLuckPodcast.

Episode 6 - Second Magic

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ROSLYN: You've reached the Love and Luck Podcast.

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KANE: Hey Jason, so remember when you had that hangover that you think I scooped out of your brain? So... this is weird, but today a guy at work had a migraine. He didn't really want to go home because he needs the money, but he was looking rough. A lot of us were worried about him.

And I was thinking about your hangover, and then mostly to amuse myself, I took a quiet minute when I was on break and I thought about pulling the migraine out of him.

And I know this sounds weird, but it was... sticky. Like when I visualized vacuuming your hangover out it was an easy thought, like sucking something through a straw. But when I thought about this guy's migraine, it was sticky, like dough. I was really surprised by that, and kind of interested, because that's really fucking weird. So I kept at it for a bit.

And after a few minutes, I hear him let out this huge sigh on the other side of the room, right? And someone passing by him asks how he's doing, and he kinda blinks and says that his migraine is gone. He was really bewildered by it. Apparently migraines don't generally just... disappear like that, all at once.

Did I... did I do that? Do you think? Or was it just another coincidence? I can't tell. One coincidence is kinda funny, but a second, really similar one like this... I don't know. It's weird. [Sighs]

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Hey, so, if it is a coincidence, it's a really fucking specific one. I think it's more likely that you're some kind of wizard. Which is awesome, by the way. I've always wanted a wizard boyfriend.

Oh, hey, I have another job interview this arvo at this shitty bar, do you think you can use your newfound magic powers to make that go well? It's a crap job but I really need the money. Rent's a bit tight this month and it's my birthday today so I could use a good mood booster. The interview's at 2:40.

Oh! Oh I have an idea! Make the interviewer say, like, a code word or something, that way we'll know that it was you! Make them say like... uh... how about "teddy bear"? That seems an unlikely enough word to hear at a job interview in a bar that it'll stand out.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: I didn't know today was your birthday!! How the heck did that bit of information get missed? Are we doing something ??

[Amused] Anyway, I guess I deserve that. I don't think you should hold out hope for a wizard boyfriend any time soon though - I'm pretty sure I'm just being startled by coincidences, and also I'm not Daniel Radcliffe, so I think you may have to settle for a normal boyfriend instead.

I will, however, definitely try and make your interviewer say "teddy bear", because that would be hilarious. Good luck!

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Oh my god!! Okay, so, first of all - I got the job! She offered it to me on the spot!

Second of all, I don't think you should discount the wizard theory just yet. Because not only did I get the job, but in the middle of the interview, she suddenly started telling me this weird story about her favourite teddy bear from when she was a kid. There was no reason for her to do that - it was definitely not a natural shift in the conversation.

YER A WIZARD, HARRY!

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: [Amused] Hey, don't make fun of your boyfriend! It's not nice! I still love you, though.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: [Serious] Kane, I'm not joking. I mean, yeah, I made a stupid Harry Potter joke, but I wasn't joking about the rest. I really did get the job, and she really did tell me this weirdly out of context story about her childhood teddy bear. I really don't think it was a coincidence. I think you affected it, somehow.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Hey, that's... that's weird. I'm not... I'm not really willing to agree with you on this just yet but... that's definitely... weird.

Anyway, I'm really glad you got the job though! That's a pretty great birthday present! Speaking of which, we are doing something for your birthday tonight, right? Your place or mine?

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Right! Yes, sorry! My place! Come around after work? And bring your magic, wizard boyfriend!

[Hangup]

[Music]

ROSLYN: Love and Luck is written by Erin Kyan, and produced by Passer Vulpes Productions. Kane is voiced by Lee Davis-Thalbourne. Jason is voiced by Erin Kyan. Credits spoken by Roslyn Quin. Recorded by Kermie Breydon.

For more information about Love and Luck, check out our website, loveandluckpodcast.com. You can also find us on facebook as Love and Luck Podcast, and follow us on twitter, at @LoveLuckPodcast.

Episode 5 - Hangover Scoop

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ROSLYN: You've reached the Love and Luck Podcast.

[Music]

[Beep]

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[Beep]

KANE: Hey babe... it's only 10am right now, so hopefully you're still sleeping it off. Sounds like you had a pretty big night. Give me a ping today if you need me, okay? Like I said, food and painkillers can quickly be yours if you dial boyfriend delivery services.

Also... and this is really important, okay? You're not stupid or shallow. Or... well, even if you think are, perhaps it's better to say that being stupid or shallow are not innately bad things, and they certainly have no bearing on whether or not you're a good or valuable person.

You're a really fun person, you're really good at making people feel happy and energized, and you have not a single drop of pretension in your whole body. I think you're amazing. Like... honestly, I wish I was even half as much of a bright, shining person that you are.

I'm... I'm gonna wish really hard, that you're not hungover, okay? Like... I'm gonna visualize taking that shit straight out of your head, like some kind of psychic vacuum cleaner. And then you're gonna wake up, and not have any hangover at all. I decree it.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Hey... it's me. I'm... I'm really sorry about those voicemails. You're really way too good to me.

Also your psychic vacuum cleaner is pretty damn effective. Because weirdly, I have no hangover today. Which makes basically no sense, by the way, because I drank enough tequila to kill a rhinoceros last night.

And... okay, I know this sounds weird, but I remember waking up around ten, because I felt like my brain was being scooped out. Like... not painfully, just like... yeah, like someone opened me up like a car bonnet and scooped something out. Then after a moment, that feeling went away, I felt totally fine, and I went back to sleep. I didn't really give it any thought until I listened to your message... that you left at 10am. I know it sounds kind of weird, but that's a pretty spooky coincidence, right?

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Hey, don't ever apologise for leaving me voicemails. I like them. I even like sad and drunk voicemails. Not that I like you being sad, I mean, I just like hearing from you, even if you're sad.

Hooray for hangover free, though! Clearly a good morning brain vacuum is the solution we've been looking for all this time. [Laughs] Not really spooky though, just really good timing, I think. Much weirder coincidences have happened.

I'm glad you're feeling all right. Text me later, okay?

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Hey, I texted a little while ago but I guess you must be showering or napping or something.

Anyway... I don't know, babe. You telling me that you're going to magically cure my hangover at the exact time my hangover went away is pretty damn spooky in my opinion. What did you do, or think, or whatever, when you said that? Or after you hung up? Maybe we can recreate it somehow. I feel like this deserves some testing.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Wow, we're having a bad day for catching each other on the phone again today, huh? Maybe that's how we should test your theory? [Chuckles]

Anyway, I don't know... I don't think there's anything to this. I pretty much did exactly what I said. I visualized scooping the hangover out of your head. But I really don't think it was me, I think it was just a coincidence. But hey, if you want me to visualized hangover scooping and/or vacuuming again in future, I'm totally willing to try that.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Shit, missed you again. I was the one in the shower this time.

Anyway, obviously there's no hangover to scoop in your case, but I thought I'd try something too, to see if it could go both ways or whatever, right?

So... I tried just like... thinking about you? But more... I don't know, concretely, I guess. Like... I was picturing you, and then I was trying to like... feel inside you, see if I could figure out how you're feeling, or something like that.

And... again, maybe this is just weird and nothing real but... I felt... lonely. But not like how I feel lonely. It was a foreign kind of lonely feeling.

Kane, maybe this is like, super arrogant or whatever but... are you lonely? Do you want me to come over and see you?

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Hey... it's me. And... yeah. I... I'd really like you to come over, actually. I'd... really like that a lot.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Hey, so... these last couple of days have been kind of... a big deal for me. I'm not really used to letting myself be quite that vulnerable with people, or quite that... honest, I guess? I mean... I don't repress anything, but I definitely don't let it out for people to see much, either.

But you... you make me feel okay about my weaknesses. And you... I don't know. You're patient with me. I really appreciate that.

I know you weren't looking for a serious relationship when we started seeing each other but... I'm really glad that we ended up here. And I know I've said it a few times in person now but... I just wanted to say it again.

I love you.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: I'm so glad you left me that message. I'm keeping that. I'm saving it forever. As long as my voicemail inbox exists, I'm going to keep that message in it.

And hey... I love you too.

[Hangup]

[Music]

ROSLYN: Love and Luck is written by Erin Kyan, and produced by Passer Vulpes Productions. Kane is voiced by Lee Davis-Thalbourne. Jason is voiced by Erin Kyan. Credits spoken by Roslyn Quin. Recorded by Kermie Breydon.

For more information about Love and Luck, check out our website, loveandluckpodcast.com. You can also find us on facebook as Love and Luck Podcast, and follow us on twitter, at @LoveLuckPodcast.

Episode 4 - It Just Sucks, You Know?

[Dial Tone]

[Pickup]

ROSLYN: You've reached the Love and Luck Podcast.

[Music]

[Beep]

[Pickup]

[Beep]

JASON: Hey, it's Jason. So, I know I was going to stay over at your place tonight, but I just got a job interview for tomorrow morning that's right near my place. Do you want to come over here instead?

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Hey, yeah, I'll come over to yours instead. It's probably about time I met your housemates anyway, since you've met mine. Want me to bring anything?

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Don't worry about bringing anything. I'll let my housemates know to expect you. Hopefully they like you more than your housemates like me!

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Hey, my housemates may not love you, but they don't hate you. Which, considering they hate almost everything and everyone, is actually very high praise.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Oh my god, are you serious? I thought they like, full on hated me. I'm glad they don't, but man, tough crowd. Anyway, I'll see you later, I figure you'll just come on by around dinner time?

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Yeah, I'm not really sure what the deal is with them, but they pay their rent on time and they tidy the kitchen when they're done using it, so as far as I'm concerned they're perfect housemates.

Dinner time sounds good. See you tonight.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Good luck with your job interview today! I'm thinking of you!

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: [Defeated] Hey, it's me. The job interview didn't go very well. I should be used to this by now, but I'm not. [Sighs]

I always strike out at interviews. I do great on phone interviews, and they always like my resume - not that resumes are much important for the shitty jobs I apply for, but anyway - the moment they get into the same room as me though... I don't know.

I think I'm too obviously gay, you know? Like... they never give me a solid reason for turning me down on reacting badly, sometimes I get the bullshit "not the right cultural fit" answer, but never anything more. Which only makes me sure that that's it, because if they admitted they didn't want me because I'm too gay I could sue the shit out of them.

I've tried to butch it up before, but it's just so obviously drag, you know? And I shouldn't have to butch it up. Just for stupid office or retail jobs! Even fucking pubs don't want me pulling beers, for fuck's sake! I'm going to be stuck doing shitty casual hospitality work forever, I swear to god.

Ugh. Sorry for the negative voicemail. This is just... it's so frustrating, and I feel like I can vent to you, but like, if it's too much, let me know and I won't.

I'm just... I'm so tired.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Hey, it's me. You can absolutely vent to me, okay? I'm here for that.

That fucking sucks about the interview. Do you want me to come over again tonight? I can make you a nice dinner or something.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Hey... thank you. For listening and for offering to make me dinner. I think... I think I'm just going to go out and get maggoted tonight instead, though. I need to decompress, you know? Just... get it all out. I'll call you tomorrow, okay?

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Hey, so, I'm not like, super keen on the ‘get maggoted' plan, but hey, you do you. Call me tomorrow if you need a hangover nurse, okay? I've got the day off, so I can come around with food, berocca, and panadol if you need me. Have a good time tonight.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: [Drunk, happily] Hey babe! It's like, 3am right now, and I'm... soooo fucking wasted, oh my god. But! I wanted to tell you, that I'm really sorry if I made you worry about me. You're so fucking nice, and you sounded really worried in that last voicemail, and I just... thank you for worrying about me, and I'm sorry to make you worry, okay?

You're so nice, you know that? And like... actually nice, not just polite or whatever, but like... genuinely sweet and wonderful, and... nice.

Oh, shit, the bar is closing, hang on, I'll call you back.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: [Drunk, giddily] Okay!! I'm outside!! I'm literally in the gutter!! [Laughs] Ah shit... it's where I belong, so my mother would tell me.

Man, it fucking sucks when bars close so early. I like to stay out laaaate. I should open my own bar!! Then I could keep it open for as long as I'd like!! Shiiit, I'd be soooo good at running a bar, I mean, I practically live for this shit anyway, and it'd just be working for myself, right? I already do bartender work when I can get it! I could be a business owner! [Laughs] Jason the business man!

Oh! Oh man!! You know what would be cool? If we opened a bar together. Because you're like... you're so smart, and you're good with, like, books and learning and shit. I bet you would know all about running a business. Or like... if you don't, then like, you could learn it like... sooo fast.

Hah... aw, shit, I should probably go home now the bar's closed. Can't stay in the gutter forever. Probably. I'm pretty sure people frown on that. [Laughs]

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: [Drunk, in a "tired end of the night" way] Hey... it's me again. [Unwell grunt] It's like... five o'clock now? And I just threw up twice, so that's how my night is going.

I proooobably shouldn't have drunk so much, but like... fuck it, you know? Like honestly... just... fuck it. Fuck everything. There's no fucking jobs, and I'm too gay to get any of the jobs that do exist, and it's just... just, fuck it.

It fucking sucks, you know? Everything fucking sucks.

Except you. You don't suck. Or... [chuckles] Well. You know what I mean! You don't suck in the bad way! You're just... really good. You're a really nice person and a really nice boyfriend. Shit... I'm still kind of amazed you are my boyfriend? Like... you're so good! Like... lots of people think I'm stupid and shallow, and I mean... I kind of am? But you never treat me that way. You're just... really nice. You're really good to me.

I really... I really like you.

[Hangup]

[Music]

ROSLYN: Love and Luck is written by Erin Kyan, and produced by Passer Vulpes Productions. Kane is voiced by Lee Davis-Thalbourne. Jason is voiced by Erin Kyan. Credits spoken by Roslyn Quin. Recorded by Kermie Breydon.

For more information about Love and Luck, check out our website, loveandluckpodcast.com. You can also find us on facebook as Love and Luck Podcast, and follow us on twitter, at @LoveLuckPodcast.

Episode 3 - Officially Boyfriends

[Dial Tone]

[Pickup]

ROSLYN: You've reached the Love and Luck Podcast.

[Music]

[Beep]

[Pickup]

[Beep]

KANE: [Pleased] Hey boyfriend. Since we're boyfriends now.

So... I just wanted to tell you that was definitely the best weekend of my life. I'm only sorry we had to end it so we could go back to work.

I hope you have a good day today.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Also, I STILL can't believe you hadn't seen Priscilla. What kind of gay are you? You're lucky I showed it to you in time, otherwise someone would have to confiscate your gay card, and then what would we do?

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Oh my god, I know right? Now that I have seen Priscilla, I'm as astounded as you are. You'd think that would have been some formative shit for me. Although... I think if I'd seen it as a kid, my parents would have blamed it for making me queer. So maybe it's better this way, since I get to see it with my cute bear boyfriend, and thus there's no negative associations.

Also, this is probably weird, but do you know I intentionally didn't pick up your call just before? I wanted to to listen to your voicemail instead. I feel like... I feel about your voicemails the same way I feel about getting parcels in the mail. It's like receiving an old school love letter or something.

I really like it. I really like you.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Hey. I really like you, too.

I know exactly what you mean about the voicemails. Love letters are a good comparison I think. The way I feel when I see the voicemail notification is definitely the same way I felt about getting notes from crushes in high school.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: You got notes from crushes in high school? That's adorable! I bet you were popular. Did you get notes from boys and girls? Did you ever write back? I need to know more about Kane the high school heartbreaker! Please leave me a message with all the details.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: [Amused] I don't know what details you're after, here. Yes, I got notes from boys and girls, and yes, I wrote back sometimes. I wasn't really popular... just average, I think. I think maybe our school just had a romance with romance, you know?

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: [Sighs] Kane the teenage dreamboat. I'm definitely going to pester you for more details about this at some point. I didn't really date much as a teenager so I'm just going to live vicariously through your awkward stories, okay?

Also, I think every high school has a romance with romance, there isn't a high enough percentage of asexuals in the population to stop that from being the case.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: [Amused] Hmm, I suppose that's true. Teenagers do tend to have a lot of feelings.

Considering we've stopped using voicemails purely as "hey, call me back" messages, it does make me wonder how we're going to deal with it if we actually need to talk to each other over the phone.

I guess we could text first... [Realisation] Or, well, I guess we can always say straight up in a voicemail that we need a callback, since that's kind of what voicemails were originally made for... I suppose that would be the logical answer, apparent to people who don't overthink things like I do...

Anyway. I should get back to work. Talk to you later.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: [Amused] Good to see you eventually came up with a solution to that terrible problem.

So, text first or request a callback in case of an emergency, got it. Although, let's not have any emergencies. The only emergencies I'm allowing are party emergencies, where the emergency is that we have to party. Those, I will allow.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: [Amused] Party emergencies, huh? Heh, a party emergency isn't likely to come from my end. I'm more likely to have a "I desperately need cake" emergency. So I guess you'll have to keep an eye out for any cake texts from me, instead. Maybe the two emergencies will coincide sometime, who knows.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: So... what you're telling me is that if I bring you cake, you'll come out clubbing with me again? Because frankly, you're hot and I want to show you off to like, the entire gay community. Maybe hold up a sign that's just like "that's right fuckos, he's mine!".

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: [Amused] Hey, so, I'm not sure about the sign, but if you bring me cake, I will definitely go clubbing with you. But not too late, okay? I turn into a pumpkin at midnight. I'm like Cinderella. Or... Cinbearella! [Pleased] Hah!

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: That was fucking terrible and you're fucking terrible. You're lucky I like you.

Text me with what kind of cake you want.

[Hangup]

[Music]

ROSLYN: Love and Luck is written by Erin Kyan, and produced by Passer Vulpes Productions. Kane is voiced by Lee Davis-Thalbourne. Jason is voiced by Erin Kyan. Credits spoken by Roslyn Quin. Recorded by Kermie Breydon.

Priscilla: Queen of the Desert, is a real Australian film about drag queens and road trips.

For more information about Love and Luck, check out our website, loveandluckpodcast.com. You can also find us on facebook as Love and Luck Podcast, and follow us on twitter, at @LoveLuckPodcast.

Episode 2 - Flustering Flustertash

[Dial Tone]

[Pickup]

ROSLYN: You've reached the Love and Luck Podcast.

[Music]

[Beep]

[Pickup]

[Beep]

JASON: Hey, it's Jason! I told you I'd be the first one to call after our date this time!

I had such a good time last night. You know, I never actually did the whole making out at the movies thing as a teenager, probably from being the only gay in the village when I lived in the sticks, but anyway, now I seriously think I was missing out. It was a good cherry to pop with you, though.

You're a really good kisser, in case I haven't already told you that. A lot of guys get overexcited and it feels a bit like they're trying to eat me. But you take it slow, and you sort of wade into it rather than throwing yourself into it all at once... and that's a huge turn on, actually. Like, every time you kiss me I want more, because you like... draw me in rather than push against me. It's intense and soft at the same time. I love it. I want to do a lot more of it.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: [Flustered] Wow. I... hmm. I'd love to leave some kind of smooth and sexy message in reply to that, but honestly I'm... just... [Intake of breath] Yeah. We should do more kissing. Definitely.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Oh my god Jason, I just went to listen to that voicemail again and apparently you left it at four o'clock in the morning?? What the hell?

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: [Amused] Hey. I stay up late a lot, what can I say?

And you were on my mind... While I was staying up late. Thinking about you. You and your kissing, and your body... which is amazing, by the way, and you should show it off more.

Hey, I know, there's a underwear party coming up at the Laird this Monday, wanna go with me?

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Oh jeez. I don't know if I feel brave enough for an underwear party. Cis queer guys can get a little weird about guys like me being around in situations like that.

Even if I was brave enough, though, I can't really do Monday. I'll be exhausted from work and I'm probably just going to want to blob on the couch and watch netflix.

I could do... casual relaxing Monday thing, or I could do a party on the Saturday before, if either of those options work for you? Or we could do both, if you wanted to stay over on Saturday with me. Hell, you can stay over all weekend if you like.

I mean, you don't have to do that, like, stay with me all weekend, I mean - I'm definitely okay with just the Saturday or Monday night. It was just an idea, whatever works for you is fine!

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Hey, I'd love to spend the weekend with you. That sounds really, really nice. Just let me know what time to come around on Saturday.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Hey, it's me. Are you sure you're okay to spend that much time with me? I mean... I'm a real homebody and I know you're into much more active and wilder stuff. I don't want you to get bored with me or something, I don't know.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Hey... I definitely want to spend that much time with you. I don't think I'll get bored. I kind of like the quiet moments with you.

Look... I know we only met to hook up, but like... I'm really into you. I mean, you're right, we're totally different. You're not the sort of guy I'd have gone looking for in a boyfriend, but you know what, I think that's kind of good, in a way. I've dated some real arseholes, you know? So I clearly don't really know what's best for me, you know what I mean?

But you feel... good for me. I feel good when I'm with you. I feel like we balance each other out.

Plus, you're like, really hot.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Uh, hey, it's me again. Look, I didn't mean to say that we're boyfriends, you know? I mean, we haven't talked about that. That word hasn't come up.

And that's fine! I mean, it's fine that it hasn't come up. It's also fine if you don't want to be boyfriends! We can just keep things like, cool and casual. We don't have to do, like, the relationship thing, if that's not your thing, you know? Like... whatever you want, or think, or whatever, is totally fine. No pressure here.

Like, I'm kind of sorry I even said that, now? I didn't mean to sound, like, clingy, or whatever? So, like, yeah, uh, sorry for saying boyfriend. I mean, even though I didn't actually call you my boyfriend, I just said that I wouldn't have looked at a guy like you for a boyfriend. Which... that sounds bad. That's not...

What I mean to say is, it's not like you'd be a bad boyfriend! I mean, I'm not saying we couldn't be boyfriends, like, I'm not saying that you're not boyfriend material or something, you know? Because you totally are boyfriend material. Like, seriously. But I mean, not unless you want to be, you know?

So, uh, don't feel pressured, you know, either way. I definitely didn't mean to say boyfriend. Unless you do actually want to be boyfriends, in which case, like, we can totally talk about that! But don't feel like, you know, I'm necessarily looking for that? I'm totally cool with keeping things casual, or not, or whatever.

[Quietly, to himself] Fuck, stop talking.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Hey so... that last voicemail was kind of confusing? I'm not really clear on whether you're trying to say that you want to be my boyfriend, or if you're trying to say that you definitely don't want to be my boyfriend.

So, uh... you know, asking directly, do you want to be boyfriends?

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Hey, it's Kane. Um... I didn't hear back from you yesterday, and I'm just wondering if I did or said something wrong, or if you're just not interested in hanging out any more? It's totally fine either way, I'd just like to know.

And... if I did do something wrong, I'm really sorry.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Hey Kane, it's Jason. Sorry for... everything. The weird voicemails, and then not getting back to you... I'm really sorry for disappearing like that.

You didn't do anything wrong. I'm the dickhead. I kind of freaked out, and instead of being a grown up about it and dealing with it, I just kind of... withdrew and avoided the whole thing. I... I won't do that again. I'm really sorry.

I... would still really like to come over on Friday, if that's okay? I totally get it if this has kind of soured you on me, though. Yeah. Let me know.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Hey, I'm really glad you're okay and not mad at me. I'd still really like you to come over on Friday. We can talk about whatever it is that's freaking you out, yeah? Figure out some way of dealing with it. I'll let you know when my shift finishes exactly and maybe we can meet after work and go home together.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Hey... yeah, that sounds really good.

Also... [deep breath] Yes. I would like to be your boyfriend.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Hey. I'd like to be your boyfriend, too. See you on Friday.

[Hangup]

[Music]

ROSLYN: Love and Luck is written by Erin Kyan, and produced by Passer Vulpes Productions. Kane is voiced by Lee Davis-Thalbourne. Jason is voiced by Erin Kyan. Credits spoken by Roslyn Quin. Recorded by Kermie Breydon.

The Laird Hotel is a real men's only gay pub in Abbotsford, Melbourne. It is the longest running men's only gay hotel in Australia. You can check them out at lairdhotel.com. And yes, the first monday of every month is the Underwear Party!

For more information about Love and Luck, check out our website, loveandluckpodcast.com. You can also find us on facebook as Love and Luck Podcast, and follow us on twitter, at @LoveLuckPodcast.

Episode 1 - First Date

[Dial tone]

[Pickup]

ROSLYN: You've reached the Love and Luck Podcast.

[Music]

[Beep]

[Pickup]

[Beep]

KANE: Hi, it's Kane. I just wanted to say I had a lot of fun last night, and I'd like to do it again, if you're keen. Give me a call back and we'll see if we can find a good time.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Hey, Jason here, sorry I missed your call. I had a really good time too, and I'd definitely like to see you again. You ever go to the Greyhound Hotel? It's a gay pub-slash-nightclub in St Kilda. There's a drag show tomorrow, which is always amazing as well as good tunes and dancing. Maybe I'll see you there?

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Hey, Kane again, looks like I missed you again. I haven't been to the Greyhound, but it sounds like it could be fun so I'll give it a shot. I'll see you there!

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Hi Jason, it's Kane. I just wanted to say, normally clubbing really isn't my thing, but I actually had a lot of fun last night. Thanks for showing me such a good time.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Hey, it's Jason, playing phone tag with you again. We're clearly very bad at actually answering our phones. Anyway, I had a really good time last night too, and you're a lot of fun to be around. To the point I'm kind of surprised to hear that clubbing isn't normally your thing, because you definitely kept up with the best of us. You can pick what we do next time though, that seems only fair.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: [Flustered] I mean-- if you'd LIKE to hang out again, sometime, obviously. If you don't want to, then don't worry about it, I won't take it personally! I'm not, like, assuming that we'll be going out again. I don't want to pressure you or anything. Don't feel, like, obligated or whatever.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Hey... so... those last voicemails were weird. I'm sorry about that. Uh... I'd like to see you again, if you'd like that too. Yeah.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: [Amused] Hey, it's Kane. You're pretty cute when you're flustered, you know. And... yeah, I'd love to hang out again. How about something a little more one on one this time. Coffee and cake sound good?

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Hey, uh, it's me again. Yeah, coffee and cake sounds really good. I'm free like... all tomorrow and the next day? So just... text me the details, and I'll see you then!

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Hey! Sorry if I'm like... too enthusiastic about calling after we see each other, like... I know so far it's always me that calls first, the very next day after... usually in the morning. And here I am doing that again... right now. Uh... yeah.

But, you know, in my defence, you're cute, and I really like being around you. So... yeah. Yesterday was really nice, and I'd like to see you again, if you're up for it.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Shit, I'm so sorry I keep missing your calls. It's 100% on me. I don't get up till like, after midday, and my phone's always on silent, and yeah... I suck, I'm sorry. I would really like to see you again though, so... we should do that.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Hey, it's me. Don't worry about missing calls. My phone's always on silent too - I mean, you may have noticed that you had to leave a message for me when you returned that call.

Besides, I've kinda started looking forward to getting your voicemails. Which is probably the weirdest thing anyone has ever experienced, I mean, who gets excited about voicemails? Most people don't even listen to or leave them, let alone look forward to them.

But, well... I like your voice, and I like hearing from you. So I look forward to voicemails, like some kind of bizarre cryptid.

So, anyway, my point is - don't feel bad about missing my calls. It just gives you a reason to call me back, and if you miss me too, leave me a message. Apparently, I like that.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Oh, I forgot to say, how do you feel about the traditional dinner and a movie next time? The queer film festival starts in a couple of days, and there's bound to be a lot of interesting and relevant stuff on then. And we can always afterparty if we go to a big enough showing. I know you love your parties. Hell, maybe opening night?

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: The film festival sounds like a great idea! I've always meant to go to opening night but never gotten around to it before, so I'm definitely on board. You want to just buy the tix and I'll pay you back? Or I can pay for dinner if you'd rather split it that way.

Also... I know what you mean about the voicemails. Whenever I get the text saying I have a voicemail, I get this stupid grin on my face because I'm hoping that it's you.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Hey, I emailed you the tickets for tomorrow night. I'm down with you buying me dinner in return, too. Where do you want to go for it? There's a couple of good places nearby depending on what you're into. My favourite tapas place is nearby, although it's difficult to get into on short notice, unfortunately.

Eh, I'm sure we'll find somewhere. How about we just meet at Fed Square at like, seven, and decide where to go from there?

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Hey, yeah, cool. That's a good idea. I'll see you tomorrow at Fed Square then! I'm really looking forward to it.

[Hangup]

[Music]

ROSLYN: Love and Luck is written by Erin Kyan, and produced by Passer Vulpes Productions. Kane is voiced by Lee Davis-Thalbourne. Jason is voiced by Erin Kyan. Credits spoken by Roslyn Quin. Recorded by Kermie Breydon.

The Greyhound Hotel was a real St Kilda gay and drag venue, though sadly it has closed since the writing of this episode.

For more information about Love and Luck, check out our website, loveandluckpodcast.com. You can also find us on facebook as Love and Luck Podcast, and follow us on twitter, at @LoveLuckPodcast.

[Music fades out]

Episode 0 - Trailer

[Dial tone]

[Pickup]

ROSLYN: You've reached the Love and Luck Podcast.

[Music]

[Beep]

[Dial Tone]

[Pickup]

KANE: Hi, you've reached Kane Baxter. I'm not available at the moment, so please leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can.

[Beep]

JASON: Hey, my name's Jason, I got your number from Boris. He said you were my type and single, and I thought, screw it, why not give you a call. Want to meet up sometime and see if we hit it off or whatever? My number's 0456 038 767, hit me up if you're interested.

[Hangup]

[Dial Tone]

[Pickup]

JASON: Hey, it's Jason. Leave a message.

[Beep]

KANE: Uh, hi, it's Kane! I actually kinda thought Boris was kidding when he asked if he could give my number to someone, so I was kinda surprised to get your message. Um - I'm glad to hear from you though! I'm not normally one for blind dates, but sure, let's give it a try.

Um, in case you need my number again, it's 0456 039 068. Although I guess... you probably already have it... since you were the one who called me first. Anyway, uh... yeah. Call me. If you like.

[Hangup]

[Music]

ROSLYN: Love and Luck, a story in voicemails will launch on the 19th of September, 2017. Check out our website at loveandluckpodcast.com, or follow us on social media - Love and Luck Podcast on Facebook, and @LoveLuckPodcast on twitter. Subscribe to us on your favourite podcast app to be first to listen!