Episode 19 - Witch Boyfriends
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ROSLYN: You've reached the Love and Luck Podcast.
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KANE: Hey honey, I hope you managed to get back to sleep okay. I'm really sorry for waking you up at sparrow's fart with my stupid anxiety. It's been like, years since I last had a panic attack... I was kind of hoping they were gone for good, but I guess that sort of thing never 100% goes away.
[Sighs] I'm really sorry. You handled it amazingly, but I wish you hadn't had to.
I suppose on the bright side, it gave us some more practise with the whole weird emotion magic thing, though. And... it was really nice feeling you smooth out the anxiety wrinkles in my brain. It was like... even outside of the actual soothing you were doing, it made me feel more connected to you again, and it's much easier to calm down when you don't feel alone, you know?
Anyway... thank you, and I love you, and I'll talk to you later.
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JASON: Kane, listen, don't apologise for having a panic attack, okay? Don't feel like you ever have to apologise to me for your anxiety. I'm fine, I don't mind dealing with it. I'm here for you, okay? If you freak out again, once, twice, or a thousand times, that's fine too, I'll be here then too.
I hope you're feeling better this afternoon. I promise we're going to make this work. Or... no, actually, it's more like this: even if we don't make it work, even if Best of Luck Bar falls to pieces and fails, we'll still be all right. Okay? We'll still be all right.
I love you and I'm gonna try and send you happy little brain sparks today to cheer you up.
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KANE: Hey... I love you. Thank you for... well, everything. Being so good about all this.
Also, thank you for brain sparks, although you can probably dial down the intensity a bit! The first one that happened literally made me startle and the woman in the cubicle next to me asked me if I was okay! It's kind of like you're occasionally dropping pop rocks into my brain, which is... I mean, it's an interesting enough experience, and I certainly appreciate the love and tenderness that comes along with it, but I could probably do with looking a little less weird to my coworkers. Although, I guess I'm not going to be here much longer, so maybe it doesn't matter.
Having said that... my day still improved a lot after your little psychic pop rocks. It's difficult to feel bad when there's tingly reminders of your wizard boyfriend's love floating around in your head.
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JASON: See, I knew you'd be on board with operation wizard boyfriends eventually. Or is it witch boyfriends? Did we ever decide on that? Very serious linguistic decision to be made there. Can't be made too lightly.
Oh, by the way! We got some calls from a couple of gay clubs offering to give us some tickets to upcoming dance parties they're throwing, so we can raffle them off on opening night. Isn't that cool? They also said they're spreading the word a little bit to other queer orgs to see if anyone had anything cool they could donate.
It's really nice that other members of the community are supporting us, you know? Like... there's no nasty competition here. We all want to see each other succeed. That's... that's amazing, and so against everything we've always been told about business, you know?
For a long time I wasn't even sure I believed in ‘community' as such, but... I don't know, I mean, I'm definitely starting to believe in it. Everyone we've talked to, from our friends to the tradies to other business owners... everyone's just cheering us on. Cooperation without competition. I love it.
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KANE: Wow, that's really awesome about the tickets! A raffle would definitely be a fun thing to have on opening night, too. I know I used to go to some events that had raffles each time, it was always a lot of fun. Raffles are great. We should put the word out that we're accepting donations for that, too, might get some good results.
As for witch boyfriends versus wizard boyfriends, does it really have to be one or the other? In a world that's increasingly more accepting of multiple genders and sexualities, are you telling me we have to choose one or the other? That doesn't sound very inclusive to me. I choose whatever the third option is. [Feeling it out] Wiil... zitch... iqueer... or, no... magiqueer? Hmm. This needs thought.
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JASON: Oh my god, you massive dork, there are heaps of other terms for magic users we could use. Like... mage, sorcerer, warlock... okay that's the only other ones I can think of, off the top of my head, but that's still three more in the running.
Having said that, ‘magiqueer' is pretty adorable, you fucking nerd.
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KANE: Oh, you're the one who can brainstorm magic user terms quickly off the top of your head, but I'm the nerd? Pfft. You're so much nerdier than you think you are.
I'm kind of... weirdly attached to ‘witch', the more I think about it. Maybe it's just because of the whole thing where Mumma was called that? It does make me feel a little more connected to her, I have to admit.
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JASON: Operation witch boyfriends it is. Love you, witch boyfriend. See you tonight.
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ROSLYN: Love and Luck is written by Erin Kyan, and produced by Passer Vulpes Productions. Kane is voiced by Lee Davis-Thalbourne. Jason is voiced by Erin Kyan. Credits spoken by Roslyn Quin. Recorded by Kermie Breydon.
For more information about Love and Luck, check out our website, loveandluckpodcast.com. You can also find us on facebook as Love and Luck Podcast, and follow us on twitter, at @LoveLuckPodcast.