Episode 38 - Puzzle Piece

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ROSLYN: You've reached the Love and Luck Podcast.

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KANE: Hey honey, I wrapped Helen's birthday present and left it on your bedside table, since I know you didn't want me to give it to her without you. You can bring it down with you when you get up, I've planned the birthday tea party to start not long after you normally come down.

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KANE: [Softly] Hey honey. So... I'm about to fall asleep, but before I do, I just wanted to tell you once again that I love you. Today was really nice. Helen was so relieved you didn't plan some huge late night party for her, hah.

She's really come out of her shell a lot since she's been with us. It's so nice to see. She's so shy but everyone who meets her just adores her, and I mean, how could they not?

I don't think she expected so many people to be here today, even though we kept it low key... I don't think she really realized how many people love her until today. It's really nice that we were able to make her smile like that.

[Yawns] Oh... okay, I'm gonna crash out now. Love you. See you tomorrow.

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JASON: [Sweetly] I loved that message. I love you when you're sleepy, you're soft and nice. You should leave me bedtime voicemails more often. I love you.

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KANE: Hey... I'm glad you liked my half asleep message. I'll try to leave you more.

Michael's giving Helen some casual painting lessons this morning... it's really soothing to watch, actually. I'm not the only person who thinks that, either - a small crowd of early risers have gathered around to watch. There's something really satisfying about looking at paint being mixed and used... it's like my eyes love the texture, even though I can't feel it with my hands.

Also, did you know that Michael's a really fucking amazing artist? Like... when he said he was an artist, I had no idea he meant like... a well seasoned and talented one. He makes it look so easy! He slings colours around and they practically come alive. It's incredible. I don't think I've ever seen someone with such skill - I can't believe he's not some world famous artist already, to be honest.

Do you think I should ask him if he'd be willing to teach some classes here? Judging from the small crowd today I think they might be popular... and I mean, art therapy is a thing, right? Like, it's good for mental wellbeing?

I might ask him about it when he's done with Helen.

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KANE: [Softly] Hey honey... you asked for more bedtime messages, so here I am. I don't really have much to say, though. I'm looking forward to Michael's art classes being a regular part of the Best of Luck's event calendar.

[Yawns] I really love our bar. We're becoming such a nice little hub of activity. I love it, I love the people that come to it. And I love you. Goodnight. I'll see you tomorrow.

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JASON: It's totally empty down here at the moment. Been a couple of weeks since we've had that. It's kind of nice actually... it's very calm and still down here. Everyone's asleep except for me.

It makes me kind of thoughtful, really. Like... I don't get solitude like this very often. I used to loathe being alone, but now... now it's kind of nice, because it's just a holiday instead of the default, you know? I'm not alone because I'm isolated, I'm just alone for a couple of hours tonight. Then tomorrow I'll wake up and there will be a flurry of people and activity again. Even in a couple of hours, I'm going to go fall asleep next to you, so not even my sleep will be lonesome.

I mean... I think that's why I partied so much, originally. Because it was a way to be around people, feel connected to them. I met people and made friends with them and for a little while, we'd all be coasting along life together, even if it was only a couple of hours. But then I'd go home and crash, alone in bed, and I'd feel... happy for all I'd been doing, but sort of sad that I had to go to sleep and wake up in the morning, if that makes sense? Or I'd go home with some random hook up, which would be great and wonderful at the time, but we'd wake up in the morning and it would be awkward and disconnected again.

Hmm... that all sounds a lot more depressive than it actually was. I didn't feel bad about it. It was just how it was, if that makes sense?

Well, anyway... that doesn't happen any more. Now I feel connected all the time. To you, to the bar, to our boarders, to our customers... I feel a part of the world proper now, instead of just... brushing up against that feeling when I experience something intense enough.

And it's not the magic thing making me feel this way, because believe me, I thought of that. But the magic is something else entirely. This is just... feeling my place in the world or something, I guess.

I have no idea if that made any sense, heh. Well, anyway, I love you, and I love going to bed next to you, and I love waking up every day and heading downstairs to see you. I love my new place in life. My puzzle piece fits very neatly into the world now.

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ROSLYN: Love and Luck is written by Erin Kyan, and produced by Passer Vulpes Productions. Kane is voiced by Lee Davis-Thalbourne. Jason is voiced by Erin Kyan. Credits spoken by Roslyn Quin. Recorded by Kermie Breydon.

For more information about Love and Luck, check out our website, loveandluckpodcast.com. You can also find us on facebook as Love and Luck Podcast, and follow us on twitter, at @LoveLuckPodcast.